Clary comes to just enough for us to eavesdrop on someone saying she’s been unconscious for three days.  How convenient that she woke up at just that moment, then went coma again right after we got the relevant information.  Lord knows it wouldn’t have been nearly as dramatic if she’d come almost-awake while they were talking about, I don’t know, how bad the hospital food is.

I mean, yeah, I get it.  There’s a certain economy required in writing.  If something isn’t relevant, it doesn’t get written about, so of course she didn’t wake up during a food conversation.  But the amount of ~*~convenient~*~ eavesdropping in books in general is really annoying, especially in cases like this where she couldn’t even think “this might get interesting, I should scoot closer and see if they drop any plot-hints.”

All her thoughts ran as thickly and slowly as blood or honey.

Um, blood isn’t really that slow.  Sometimes it’ll ooze out of a wound, but that has more to do with the location of the injury and the amount of pressure the blood is under, not the viscosity.  Blood, just by itself, runs a hell of a lot faster than honey does.

She saw her mother lying in a hospital bed, eyes like bruises in her white face.  She saw Luke, standing atop a pile of bones. Jace with white feathered wings sprouting out of his back, Isabelle sitting naked with her whip curled around her like a net of gold rings, Simon with crosses burned into the palms of his hands. Angels, falling and burning. Falling out of the sky.

Really?  She’s having prophetic dreams now?  What is the point of this?  I really want to know.  Is there going to be a point, later in the book, where we say “Oh, because she had that prophetic dream, I totally know what’s going on now”?  I bet not.  I bet this is just in here because the author thinks it’s some good symbolism.  This chapter started out with economy (if clichéd economy) and has progressed now to just throwing words around because they sound pretty.  Unless she is prophetic, and unless the fact of her prophetic-ness is a plot point, then all of this is just filler.

More plotty semi-conscious eavesdropping…  Boy, why are they having so many conversations over her sick bed?  Why not just look in on her, go “yup, not dead yet,” and then move on?  Did they not have enough space, so they had to turn their planning room into her sick room?  Or is she just ~*~so special~*~ that everyone in this place feels the need to stick by her side as much as possible, even when she’s in a coma?

Clary’s eyelids felt as if they had been sewed shut. She imagined she could feel tearing skin as she peeled them slowly open and blinked for the first time in three days.

She didn’t really feel it.  She just imagined she felt it.  I guess whatever she was really feeling wasn’t interesting, so she imagined ripping skin instead.  Yeah, I know what the author meant.  But using words correctly is part of an author’s job description.  Especially once you start charging money.

Clary wakes up and finds herself in a hospital ward full of beds.  Isabelle is sitting on the next bed, since she apparently has nothing better to do than wait for the coma girl to wake up.

Clary’s voice rasped like sandpaper. “Is this the Institute?”

Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Is there anything Jace didn’t tell you?”

You mean like…what the Institute is?

Isabelle gives her a ‘tisane’ because she hasn’t eaten in three days.  I’d be more worried about the lack of water.  There’s no mention of her having an IV or anything, and if they could give her water while she was unconscious then they could have given her broth, too.  She should be more worried about being dehydrated than about being starved.  Also, a tisane?  It’s just herbs in water.  Give her broth, preferably meaty broth.  Something with calories and fat in it.  That’s what she needs right now: fat.  Not herbs.

Isabelle assures Clary that she’s awesome because she killed the allipede all by herself, despite being a mundane.  Um…that thing wasn’t really hard to kill, and Clary killed it by accident.  Maybe this would work if they don’t know how she killed it, just that Jace showed up and found it dead, but otherwise?  I’m not impressed.    

Clary went to take another sip from the cup and found that it was empty. She no longer felt hungry or light-headed either, which was a relief.

I sure hope those were magic herbs, otherwise this makes no sense.  People do not recover from three fucking days without food or water with just a cup full of herb juice.

“Oh, [Jace]’s rude to everyone,” said Isabelle airily. “It’s what makes him so damn sexy.”

…whaaaaa….?

They talk about Jace for a while and Clary finds out he’s an orphan.

Clary’s mouth opened in surprise. “Did they die in an accident?”

“No.” Isabelle fidgeted, pushing a dark lock of hair behind her left ear. “His mother died when he was born. His father was murdered when he was ten. Jace saw the whole thing.”

WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER THIS?  It’s not any of her business, and it’s certainly not Isabelle’s business to be talking about it. 

Isabelle leaves to get Hodge, and Clary dresses in Isabelle’s clothes.

the plunging neckline of the red tank top only emphasized her lack of what Eric would have called a “rack.”

It’s a common euphemism.  Lots of people besides just Eric would call it a ‘rack.’  Also, yay, let’s go on some more about how the heroine isn’t pretty because she doesn’t fit a socially-defined set of traits like being big-boobied at the age of fifteen.  (Hint: those things will keep growing until you’re in your early 20s, and there’s nothing wrong with being small chested.  As one of my friends likes to say “Anything more than a handful is just gravy.  It’s not like you can do anything with it anyway.”)

After getting cleaned up, Clary leaves to find Isabelle.  Why?  Isabelle went to get people and bring them back.  No one gave Clary any hint that she needed to do anything in the ‘find people’ department.

The Victorian-looking wallpaper was faded with age, burgundy and pale gray. Each side of the corridor was lined with closed doors.

Speaking of bad writing, the descriptions in this book are so fucking passive.  Every other verb in this book is ‘was,’ and that’s just dull.  It wouldn’t take much to make these sentences active.  “Closed doors lined each side of the corridor.”  See?

Clary wanders down the hall, following the sound of a piano.  It’s Jace.  Aw, fuck, another asshole main lead who plays piano?  Let me guess: he plays sad songs and that, somehow, makes him ‘deep.’

“Isabelle, but she went off to get someone—Hodge, I think. She told me to wait, but—”

“I should have warned her about your habit of never doing what you’re told.” Jace squinted at her.

She was told to wait and then wandered off because…?  No, really, I want to know.  I don’t care if a character does something other than what they’re told, but I want to at least see some acknowledgement that they know they’re doing that.  I want to know the reason they disobeyed.  That would let me know something about them.  A character that is told to wait and then just walks off set without even thinking about it doesn’t tell me anything except “the author wanted them to go there.”

Also, what habit of never doing what she’s told?  When has Clary ever done other than what Jace told her to?  The day before, right after she hear her mom getting nommed on the phone?  Either he’s an ass for assuming what she does in a moment of panic counts as a ‘habit,’ or her disobedience is an Informed Attribute.

Jace takes her to see Hodge so that her ‘disobedience’ has absolutely no impact on the plot.  Does a character trait still count as a character trait if it doesn’t ever amount to anything?  Oh, who am I kidding.  That wasn’t a real character trait anyway.  Clary would have to have a character for that to happen.

The Institute was huge, a vast cavernous space that looked less like it had been designed according to a floor plan and more like it had been naturally hollowed out of rock by the passage of water and years. Through half-open doors Clary glimpsed countless identical small rooms,

Um, yeah, when I see small, identical rooms, I totally think ‘natural,’ too. 

Jace infodumps some more.  Again, kind of contrary to his personality (what little there is) at the start of the book, where he liked to taunt people and never give any information straight.  I guess the author figured this shit was important.  Seems Isabelle and Alec are siblings, and they have a younger brother named Max.  Max and their parents are in the ‘Shadowhunter’s home country’ called Idris doing some peace negotiating. 

“Mundanes don’t know about it. There are wardings— protective spells—up all over the borders. If you tried to cross into Idris, you’d simply find yourself transported instantly from one border to the next. You’d never know what happened.”

Um, yeah, that’s not how map making works.  If someone was making a map and magically jumped from one border to another, it would fuck everything up.

Let’s move to the mythical land of Perfectly Square Countries in order to illustrate.  Pretend Idris is the pink country.  This country is, say, 10 miles by 10 miles. 

A map maker walks along through Red, making careful note of all the borders.  They know that they can walk 100 miles along the northern border until they hit Orange, and they can walk 95 miles along the southern border before the same thing happens.  Same thing going the other direction.  In fact, all of these countries have two 100 mile long borders, and two 95 mile long borders, and the 100 mile long borders are all perfectly straight.  But so are the 95 mile borders.

How long do you think it would take for him to sit down, draw fucked up maps, and then scream “HOLY HELL, THERE’S 10 SQUARE MILES SOMEWHERE ON THIS MAP THAT TOTALLY JUST DISAPPEARED!  HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!”  He would go back and walk the borders again, trying to find the missing 10 square miles.  He would do it again and again until he went mad.  Other mapmakers would come by to try and figure it out.  Mapmakers from all over the world would go  stir crazy.  It would be studied by scientists and mathematicians.  People would call it an act of God and go to the border of it to do weird religious stuff and get in the scientists’ way.  It would be the Black Hole of Perfectly Square Countries Land.

In short, if you have an invisible country, people will still know it’s there.  And that’s just with map-makers on foot.  Imagine how much more crazy it would get these days, when we have fucking satellites that take pictures from space.  Do the wards make the satellite cameras malfunction, too?

So, yeah, I’m just going to pretend from now on that Idris is The Black Hole and the borders are crowded with people trying to study it, and the Shadowhunters have to sneak in and out.  Because doing so amuses me.

” For our purposes you can consider it a small country between Germany and France.“

“But there isn’t anything between Germany and France. Except Switzerland.”

“Precisely,” said Jace.

Things That Are More Between Germany and France Than Switzerland: Luxemburg, Belgium, Netherlands

Things That Are As Between Germany and France As Switzerland: Austria, Italy

Jace goes on for a while about Idris and how Shadowhunters grow up there and then get sent where they’re needed once they grow up.  Clary manages to always ask the exact right questions to keep the conversation on track, but never veers off into the obvious question she should be asking: “What the flying fuck is a Shadowhunter, and where is my mom, and why am I still here instead of looking for my mom and Uncle Luke?”  Okay, so that’s three questions, but still.  Who gives a fuck about Idris?

They go in the library.  It’s huge and cliché.  There’s an oldish man there.

“A book lover, I see,” he said, smiling at Clary. “You didn’t tell me that, Jace.”

Book lover?  How did he get that?  Clary hasn’t done anything besides walk into the library and notice that the books are old.  The narration spent more time describing the mosaic on the floor than it did the books, and nothing indicated that Clary was exceptionally excited to see Cool Old Books.  In fact, we know nothing about Clary in relation to the library.  The narration spent all its time describing the stuff instead of her reaction to it.

For a moment it seemed to her that he was strangely misshapen, his left shoulder humped and higher than the other. As he approached, she saw that the hunch was actually a bird, perched neatly on his shoulder—a glossy feathered creature with bright black eyes.

…how does one mix those up?  I mean, a bird doesn’t look anything like a hunchback.  Birds…well, they mostly look like birds.

They talk about how Clary killed the allipede.  Seems Jace knows she killed it with the not-phone (Sensor, what a stupid name for something) so I’m not sure why they’re all so impressed.  I mean, it’s not like it takes a lot of well-reasoned thought to take stuff out of your pockets and throw it at the thing attacking you.

Alec is also in the library and he doesn’t think Clary actually killed it, since she’s short.  (Yeah…what is this book’s issue with height?)  Clary flatly insults him, and so they all bicker for a while, and it’s boring.

Hodge off-handedly mentions that an allipede attacked Clary’s mother, and Clary sits back and lets the conversation continue.  Apparently it would be bad manners to jump in and say “Hold up, what do you know about my mother and where is she and why am I not with her or at least trying to save her?”

Does Clary just not give a fuck about her mother?  How bad is their relationship that she hears someone talk about her mother being attacked and she just sits there?

Well, the rest of the group has to bring the conversation around to asking why Clary and her mother became targets of these demons.  No one seems able to put together what we already know: Clary’s mother and father are/were neck deep in this demon slaying business. 

Hodge wants to inform someone called the Clave and tell them that Clary is with them.  Apparently Jace is upset about this, and I’m not sure why.  I mean, from what Hodge says, it’s not like anyone’s in trouble for rescuing Clary and not letting her die.  In fact, it kind of sounds like what these people do.  So if the Clave is the big-wig honcho guys of the shadowhunters, and they already have rules and allowances in place for mundanes that find out about them, then what’s the big deal?

Jace says she’s not really a mundane, because she was able to take that mark he gave her the other day.  Apparently if she’d been a real mundane when he gave her that mark, it would have killed her.  So…Jace has no problem gambling with the life of a stranger on the off-hand hunch that she might be a magic fairy like him.

Everyone except Clary finally starts guessing that her parents were shadowhunters, too.  Then Clary remembers Luke and asks to call him.  They give her a cell phone.

Luke obviously knows what’s going on, because when she calls, he sounds relieved.  When she offers to take a cab to his place (because she wants to get away from these crazies) he very cruelly says he doesn’t want her because they’re not really family and that she should stay put.  Sounds like he’s in a dangerous position, probably being watched by bad guys, and knows that Clary is better off where she is currently. 

Clary does not put the obvious 2 and 2 together.  Hodge tells the boys to get out so he can talk to Clary.

“Most people don’t cry when they’re upset or frightened, but rather when they’re frustrated. ”

Um…what?  Just…are there even any words?  What kind of people has Hodge been hanging out with?

Clary finally mentions wanting to find her mother and get revenge on whoever took her.  Bit late to the party, though.  Clary retells everything that happened, and when she gets to the part where the demon talked about Valentine, it’s info dumping time.

Valentine was a shadowhunter who died.  The shadowhunters are Nephilim, except in this legend, their ancestors drank angel blood instead had angel sex.  I’m not sure if that’s more or less disturbing.  The cup the drank out of is, like, the new Holy Grail or something.

Also, they’re currently in negotiations with the fairies (oh they of the million stupid names; this author seems fond of Downworlders, but fuck that) so this is a great time to be stirring up shit and talking about Voldemor, I mean, Valentine.

Valentine was bad because he killed a bunch of people.  He didn’t like the fairies and the shadowhunters getting along.  He died sort of like Hitler: he set himself and his wife on fire because he knew he’d lost the war.  Also, when he did that, he burned up the Holy Grail.  Not sure why he had it in the first place…

Then the book suddenly decides that history is boring, so Clary goes off to find Jace and ask him to take her home.  She wants to look around it because…because.  Again, there’s lots of reasons why someone would want to do that in this situation.  It sure would be nice if we had a hint of which one Clary was going with.