Dr. Greene is a blonde MILF, because for some reason this book has a thing for them.  Seriously, everyone except Ana who’s supposed to be pretty is a thin, blond, white woman.  It’s freaky.

We skip through the entire medical exam…which apparently happened in Ana’s bedroom.  Um, okay, it’s been longer than I like to admit since I’ve been to an Ob/Gyn, but I seem to remember there being actual tests involved.  A laboratory that I didn’t get to see.  Results that had to be phoned to me weeks after the appointment.  Is this book honestly trying to tell us that a doctor can prescribe birth control pills after nothing more than a bit of poking and prodding?  Actually, Google says they can.  I’ll rephrase.  Is this book trying to tell us that Grey paid a ‘small fortune’ for a doctor to do nothing but a bit of poking and prodding, followed by a run of the mill prescription?  I mean, if you’re going to go all out for your sub’s health, then why not actually go all out for your sub’s health?

And that’s a head-scratcher on top of all the other issues.  Once again:  She’s starting a hormone therapy regimen at a time when her hormones are already jacked to hell and back.  She has no idea how she’ll react to it.  There’s a small chance of serious side effects, and a large chance of mood swings until her body adjusts to the new hormones.  Plus, they aren’t fully effective until a while after you start taking them.  I’m placing bets now on whether or not Grey discards the condoms as soon as she takes her first one.

“Are you done?” he asks as if he’s genuinely interested.

As if?  Is Ana now working from the assumption that he doesn’t genuinely give a shit about her if he’s not fucking her?  Granted, I’m glad she’s on the same page as the rest of us, but why is she still with this guy?

She teases him by saying that the doctor told her abstain from sex for a month, but apparently that was just a lie/joke.  Bah.  Abstaining is an extreme measure, but it would be better than what they’re going to do.

Ana finally eats something…and has wine with dinner.  Fucking hell, book.

“Are you going to hit me?”

“Yes, but it won’t be to hurt you. I don’t want to punish you right now. If you’d caught me yesterday evening, well, that would have been a different story.”

Holy cow. He wants to hurt me… how do I deal with this? I can’t hide the horror on my face.

“Don’t let anyone try and convince you otherwise, Anastasia. One of the reasons people like me do this is because we either like to give or receive pain. It’s very simple. You don’t, so I spent a great deal of time yesterday thinking about that.”

What the fuck am I even looking at?  He admits that participants in this need to enjoy pain, one end or the other of it.  He admits that she isn’t one of those enjoy-pain people.  But he’s still going to hit her, and he’s still willing to punish her? 

Honest to god, it’s like the author just copy-and-pasted paragraphs from some BDSM website and plugged them into her novel without thinking about if they actual fit or not.

He says he’s going to tie her up and fuck her senseless, and Ana treats this as if it’s something new that she’s diving into.  Hasn’t he already tied her and fucked her senseless twice now?  I mean, yeah, be concerned Ana.  He’s a horrible person and god knows no one sane would want to have sex with him.  But it’s still not exceptionally new territory.  At least, what he’s said isn’t new.

She verbally agrees, again, to their deal.  Then she points out that she hasn’t signed the contract yet, and Grey says he’s “breaking all the rules tonight.”  What is it with way these guys treat signatures?  It’s not a legal contract.  Her ‘yes’ should have as much weight as her name.  Which is to say, fucking none, because we’ve already covered the fact that this isn’t a consensual negotiation. 

They go to the playroom and he strips her down.  About the only thing I like about Grey is that he keeps calling her beautiful and encouraging her to be comfortable with her own body. 

And then he braids her hair.  Alright, book, you’ve put something I haven’t seen a million times into a sex scene.  Congratulations. 

He starts to give her instructions on how he wants her to behave, such as showing up in only her panties when he calls her to the playroom, or telling her to kneel in a certain spot when he calls her over.  For once I don’t have a problem with any of it.  (You know, except for all the problems I had going into it.  It’s so hard to mention when this book does anything good, because the first half of this book totally borked the rest of it.)

WTF?  Now his jeans are hot?  Can we go just one page without Ana going on about his attractiveness?

He swats her hand with a riding crop, but light enough that it doesn’t hurt.  So apparently he is going to do the ‘easing into pain’ thing.  Well, if he was willing to do that, why not do it with limited scenes instead of scaring the crap out of her upfront?

He’s got a grid attached to his ceiling, with shackles hanging down from it, and the shackles will roll all over the grid and let her move around while her hands are still over her head.  That actually sounds awesome and I want one.

He gets her all shackled up and then starts to hit her with the riding crop.  On her clit.  So…no slow build up, then?  Well, she doesn’t describe it as particularly painful, so…I got nothing.  Someone else take this in the comments, please?  I’m just wholly unqualified to comment.

He starts to hit her all over with the crop, and this time her narration indicates that she’s actually into it, rather than just enduring it.  The word-choice leans toward ‘wonderment’ instead of ‘uhg, let it be over soon.’

Then again, I kind of wonder what these people think of as ‘pain.’  Before they start, Grey tells her it won’t hurt, but she uses words like ‘sting’ and ‘bite’ and ‘assault.’  Are they not classifying erotic pain as actually being pain? 

He makes her come and then drags her over to the St. Andrew’s Cross.  Only…she’s still attached to the ceiling, and he just kind of braces her against the cross while fucking her.  Doesn’t tie her to it or anything.  So basically, it’s just a wall. 

Grey still uses a condom.  I haven’t lost my bet, though, because she hasn’t started her pills yet.

He fucks her against the wall/cross, and it’s mercifully short.  Then they just collapse to the floor and start talking about how that whole business with the crop didn’t hurt.  They cuddle, and Ana notices he has a bunch of small round scars on his chest.  She thinks they’re chicken pox scars, but given what she already knows about his past, it’s a wonder she doesn’t realize that they’re from abuse and why he doesn’t like to be touched there.

Grey doesn’t like her noticing his scars, so that’s the end of cuddle times and she has to go kneel by the door again.

My inner goddess has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the outside of her room.

Really?  Now the cast in her head has their own dormitory?

He binds her wrists with a cable tie, and she only now realizes that he was buying bondage gear while at the hardware store back in Ch 2.  (Which begs the question, was sub number 15 still with him when he met her?  Apparently this guy has so little regard for his partners that he’ll start shopping around for a new one while still fucking the last one.)

He makes her bend over while holding onto a bedpost so that he can fuck her from behind.  How…comparatively dull.  I mean, it’s just a straight-up fucking.  Not much to stay about it.

After, they lay on the floor and he cuts off the cable tie.  I sure hope he keeps that floor really clean.  Then again, he probably does.  They have some actually good dialogue, sort of halfway between funny and bittersweet.  Moments like these make me think that, with an editor and half a bit of attention, the author could be a decent writer.  Not a great one, but an enjoyable one.  On a technical level, at least.  Her ideas and characters are still horrible.

Grey dresses her in a robe and sends her off to bed, since she’s dead on her feet.  How many chapters now have ended with Ana going to sleep?