THE NEXT MORNING, I WOKE feeling a little guilty. Frightened even. Just because I didn’t return Maxon’s ear tug didn’t mean he couldn’t come to my room any time he wanted.

Everything wrong with this book, all in one neat little package.

It was just so unbelievable—after trying so hard to not want him—that he might still want me.

Once again, what the ever flying fuck made you think he didn’t want you in the first place?

America decides that she has so many feels, she’s going to just stay in bed.  What’s odd here is that the book’s definition of a strong woman is just someone who puts on a brave face and stands around.  And America can’t even live up to that.  Aspen comes in to talk to her, and her maids get all twitterpaited over how cute he is.  Uhg, great, so now it’s not just that they aren’t able to handle being around royalty, but rather that they are so simple and simpering that they giggle and blush at anyone with a dick.  And the text does not treat them kindly for this.  Apparently it’s bad to boy-crazy, because only silly girls are boy crazy.  Good girls go ape-shit-insane for their men, but quietly, in a dignified way.  I guess.

The maids leave, because they suck at being chaperones.  Aspen apologizes to America for breaking up with her, since he still loves her and all.  Damnit, that break-up was one of the few things I liked.  Aspen had real reasons for dumping her, and he was honest and upfront about it.  He has no cause to apologize to her, unless it’s for being an idiot with the whole draft business.  And, yes, break-ups suck, but they happen.  Aspen didn’t do anything wrong during his break-up, and he doesn’t specify what he’s apologizing for, so I’m left with the implication that any time someone dumps you for any reason, that makes them a horrible person.  And that’s a terrible thing to imply.  We’ve already got enough troubles with people who stay in bad relationships just because they think they have to.

Also, he was never with Brenna, that was just a misunderstanding, because fuck this book.  I really don’t see why it would be a travesty for Aspen to have a different girlfriend – or just be fucking friendly to a girl – while broken up with America.  But apparently this book thinks that’s a point that needs to be explained away.

In his eyes I could see the same face I’d kissed a thousand times in the tree house.

But apparently she can’t see his face in his…face.  WTF?

The maids come back in, so Aspen scatters.

Later that night, the palace is under attack again.  Anne wakes up America so they can move down to the basement.  There’s a secret passageway behind the clichéd moving bookcase that’ll take her right down to the safe room.  America wants her maids to go in with her, but they say no, because they have a different safe place to go to.  So America throws a hissyfit.

Um, no.  Look, saferooms are usually tiny and have limited supplies.  Adding more people is not a smart move.  Also, there should be established protocols for being under an attack.  If the maids are supposed to be somewhere and never show up, that’s going to cause problems and might actually make things worse if anyone leaves safety in order to try and find them.

Right, except in this book, where everyone in the fucking world is a horrible person except for America, and therefore she has to be the only person looking out for her maids.

I looked at the royal family’s position … so close to the door. I wondered if it was like a captain going down with his ship. They’d do everything to keep this place afloat, but if it went down, they’d be the first ones to drown.

They’re in a saferoom in the fucking basement.  I’m pretty sure the first people to ‘drown’ are going be the guards.

Oh good god.  Then Miss Manners shows up and tries to tell the maids to do maidly things, like serve water to all the girls.  America shoots her down and acts as if her maids are her own personal property, dedicated to serving her alone, and all the other girls are stupid for not bringing their own maids.  No, really, she actually says that since the others didn’t bring maids they can serve themselves. 

Look, brat, the others didn’t bring maids because you’re not supposed to and they were intelligent enough to follow the rules.  Also?  Shut the fuck up, you are not so special that you get to keep three maids to attend to you.  They aren’t even your maids, they work for the palace, and the palace chain of command includes Miss Manners, here.  Also, also, frankly, I think some busy work to keep her occupied would do Lucy good.

But I saw the stores of food and water and could tell they would get us through months down here, if the need arose.

If you spend months down there, you’re dead anyway, because if no one can dig you out of rubble in that amount of time then no one can dig you out period.  Also?  No, the room is large enough for a big group of people – not just the Selection girls but also a bunch of random officials – then it can’t have that much food.  Food and water takes a lot of space, and I think this author doesn’t understand just how much it takes to support a single person every day.  If there’s enough for ‘months’ with that many people, then they are hiding in a fucking cavern.

Which really makes me think that America overestimates their supplies, which makes bringing down extra mouths with her a really shitty, stupid move.

Several girls had piled themselves toward the front of the room. Obviously, they’d be the first to die if someone got in the room. But if they didn’t, think of all the time spent right in front of Maxon!

Die first, die second, what’s the difference?  If someone with evil intent gets all the way into this room, that means you have no more guards and you are all fucked.  Also, a few grenades would take everyone out at once.

Aspen shows up to ask if she’s okay.  Because he’s a super-soldier now, but he’s in the basement while everyone’s under attack, because…um…reasons?

Above us, people were fighting. I listened for the sound of bullets, or anything that might tell us where this group was from.

And that’s all the description we get.  No word on if she does here bullets or if she hears something else.  So, basically, we have no fucking clue what this fighting sounds like.  It might just be random people throwing bricks at walls while the guards stand around with their staves up their asses again.

Maxon comes by to see if she’s okay, and it’s ‘as if’ their fight never happened, because this author didn’t want to write her way out of it, I guess.  Then America feels guilty, because fuck feminism.

Turns out they’re being attacked by the Southern Stereotypes.  You remember them, right?  The ones that kill people and are terrible because they are from south of America.

Finally a guard comes down to announce that it’s over and everyone should hide in their rooms until the mess is cleaned up.

I’m going to need all medical personnel to report with me to the hospital wing.

Why the fuck were there medical people in the basement?  Going to the hospital should have been the first thing they did.  Because, you know, THEY’RE FUCKING MEDICAL PERSONNEL and there is such a thing as battlefield care.  People do not drop where they are shot and then get cared for after.  They get pulled out of the way by non-combatants and then ferried over to medics and other people who try and make them not bleed to death.

America’s room is trashed, so they start cleaning it up.  Then America sends the maids away even though Anne protests.

Now that I’d found my ability to command, I wasn’t afraid to use it.

So, basically, it’s okay to tell people what do over their own wishes, but only as long as it’s a ‘good’ person doing the telling.  It’s not the system that is fucked, just the people at the top.  Yeah, that’s not a fucked up way to look at things, amiright?

Next Miss Manners comes by to see America, check that she’s alright, ask if she wants to go home, and then offers her a cell phone so she can call home.  Despite all of these good things, does the text treat her kindly?  No, it still acts like she’s some officious bitch who shouldn’t be presuming to think things about America, because she’s just…not worthy, or something.  I guess.

When America calls home, there’s some discussion about whether or not she’s going to leave, since the palace is fucking insane to be having this contest while there’s regular attacks going on and such.  America says she can’t come home, but doesn’t say why, so May figures it’s because she’s in love with Maxon.  And then every bit of family drama and concern gets utterly dropped so that May and Magda can do the boy-crazy dance and celebrate America being in love with the prince.  Because that’s what’s just so fucking important right now, right?

You know, why was Magda encouraging America to join up in the first place?  There’s a fuck-lot of people trying to kill the royal family, so this seems like a terrible time to marry into it.  And yet not once has anyone brought up this fact.  Uhg, everything about this idea of having a Selection and war on at the same time is just so fucking stupid.  They really should have waited a few years to marry off the guy.