Bear with me, people.  I’m in the land of spoty internet again.  Hopefully I’ll find a way to get on the internet every day, but don’t be surprised if instead I show up every few days and dump a bunch of chapters at once.

Simon looked down at his wet jeans and T-shirt (a wrinkled gray ringer tee that said CLEARLY I HAVE MADE SOME BAD DECISIONS on the front in block lettering). He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

What about his outfit affected the fact that he was sorry?  What about this whole description has added to the scene?  What is the point of all this?  What do we take away from it?  Why are his clothes important?  They aren’t!  This is not only a common fanfiction mistake, but it’s a common newbie fanfiction mistake, and after this long she really should know better.

“That’s what you remember about her? That she made Clary kiss Jace?” Isabelle sounded annoyed.

Well, considering shit all else happened in that scene, why is this surprising?  Seriously, everything else was just pointless talking as the Queen said “I care not for you and your racism, now kiss your sister while I chortle in glee.”  What else was he supposed to take away from the meeting?

Isabelle was holding an umbrella. It was clear plastic, decorated with decals of colorful flowers. It was one of the girliest things Simon had ever seen, and he didn’t blame Alec for ducking out from under it and taking his chances with the rain.

Because girly things are bad and if guys touch them, their private parts shrivel up and tuck back inside.  Oh, wait, no they don’t.  Hey, book, how about not perpetuating the stereotype that everything pretty is somehow worth our disdain? 

As they all walk off to see the Fairy Queen, they talk about how Robert is vying for the new Inquisitor position. 

“If he takes it, he’ll be in Idris all the time. Like, all the time. He can’t run the Institute and be the Inquisitor. He can’t have two jobs at once.”

Guys, do you realize that Maryse is running the Institute?  And has been since City of Ashes?  Robert isn’t running things now, so why would he have two jobs instead of one if he got the position?  Or is the idea that, even though Maryse is doing all the work, it’s still Robert’s position because…fuck feminism?

They arrive at court and are greeted by Meliorn, just like in the second book, even though that guy is a council member now.  Book, this isn’t like a play.  You aren’t limited to a certain cast number.  It wouldn’t cost you anything to just throw in a nameless new doorman. 

The kids are all rude to the Queen and, while I’m not arguing that she deserves a genuflection, she’s still a Fairy Queen.  You know, magic and shit.  She reminds them of all that by turning Alec into an old man for a minute.  Yeah, well, serves you guys right for being stupid.

Finally, after much banter, she agrees to help find Jace if Clary will bring her two fairy-made rings that the Institute has.  She hints that they are rightfully hers anyway, but doesn’t let us know why they are at the Institute.  Did her father sell them or trade them and the Queen just wants them now?  Were they stolen?  We’ll never know.

Then they highlight again how the Clave was extra stupid by not bothering to ask if she could help, rather than simply asking if she already knew the answer.  I mean, it seems pretty well known that she’s got magical intel-gathering abilities and is wily when questioned, so this should have been covered already.

Alec goes to see Magnus, and they spend several pages…talking about nothing.  Seriously, it’s just words strewn out, but they don’t seem to amount to any sort of progress.  And for all these two are supposed to be lovers, they don’t seem…well, connected on any level.  They’re just sitting in the same room, having a bland conversation.  I’ve never been able to read any sort of chemistry on these two; it’s always seemed like sexuality is the only thing they have in common, and that’s never a good enough reason.  I mean, I don’t fall for every straight guy that comes across my path, so why do writers think it’s okay to have that happen to gay people?  I admit, it’s nice to get away from the soul-churning rhetoric that Clary and Jace spout off all the time, but a little bit of affection would be nice.

Alec sputtered. “As the person being objectified, I… object to that description of me.”

“She always was the jealous type.”

What?  So, your “boyfriend” just objected to the way you talk about him and you’re response is to roundly ignore him? 

Add that to the utter soullessness of this scene, and it gives a very strong vibe that Magnus is only in it for the sex.  A 700 year old wizard is using an 18 year-old kid for sex.  If the age of consent was adjusted for multi-century lifespans, I’m pretty sure this would be illegal as well as incredibly creepy. 

He was awfully good at changing the subject, Alec thought.

Uh, all he did was ignore what you said as if you’d never spoken.  How is that “awfully good”?

Clary and Simon go back to her bedroom and mope.  Seems they’ve been unconscious-type sleeping together ever since Jace left, because it makes Clary feel better.  They spend far, far too many pages moping as Clary describes her blood in ice-terms, which is really getting old.  I’m sick of hearing about how she has ice-blood, like it’s supposed to stand in for fear or nervousness or…I don’t even know what it’s standing in for.  It doesn’t give me a sense of anything she’s going through except to imagine that she’s shivering all the time.

I know you don’t believe in—in religion—the same way I do

How is Simon religious?  He doesn’t seem to have any particularly religious-inspired moral codes, he doesn’t act in any way besides “generally not a shithead” that’s pretty common and not necessarily religious, his thoughts aren’t colored by religious convictions.  He doesn’t mention praying or missing prayer as if it’s a part of his life, he doesn’t talk or think about a belief in god or any tenets of religion.  Except for his occasional statements like this, there’s no hint that he’s any sort of any kind of a believer. 

“With the whole Mark of Cain thing, does that mean if I accidentally kick you during the night, I get kicked in the shins seven times by an invisible force?”

She felt him laugh. “Go to sleep, Fray.”

Actually, I’d really like to see an answer to this question.  We’ve seen people get turned to salt for trying to attack Simon, but that was with violence in mind.  What happens to people who bump into him in the street?  What happens to someone who doesn’t know him and just gets ticked off and pushes him?  What happens to someone who…I don’t know, throws a baseball that hits him in the head?  That seems like a very important thing to know, especially since it would affect how he acts around his friends and visa versa.  Come on, book, why do you keep ignoring important questions?