So, we’re back on track with romance and fluff, since that’s all this book is about.  Alec and Magnus are in bed.  Next!  Simon and Isabelle are in bed.  Next!

You know, it’s made pretty clear that Alec and Magnus have sex, whereas none of the other couples have yet.  They’re also the only same-sex couple and the only couple having problems that will probably lead to a break-up.  Since this book is unsubtle about the whole “sex makes you a whore” thing, it’s mighty uncomfortable that she’s had the gay guys perform the act.  (Or is it that sex only makes girls into whores, and since they’re both guys, it’s okay?  Which also has its own problems, just in a different direction.)

“I’m not attracted to Jace.”

“Not even a little?” she said hopefully. “Eensy bit? Because that would be kind of hot.

Or maybe the gay couple is the only one to have sex because the author actually treats them like a fetish and likes imaging them getting heavy and sweaty, but for the het couples the attraction is all in the anticipation.

Because treating gay people like your own personal sexual fantasy, but not like real people, isn’t insulting or anyth- Oh, wait, yes, it totally is. 

“Look at these,” she said, touching the white scars of healed Marks that snowflaked her silvery skin—on her throat, on her arms, on the curves of her breasts. “Ugly, aren’t they?”

“Nothing about you is ugly, Izzy,” said Simon, honestly shocked.

“Girls aren’t supposed to be covered in scars,” Isabelle said matter-of-factly. “But they don’t bother you.”

It’s really hard to take this seriously when the author describes the scars as “snowflakes” and “silvery” and “delicate” and all the other lines she’s used for them.  These aren’t even scars, they’re basically body decorations.

Oh, and yay for judging women by what they look like.  Again.  It’s not really doing any favors to say that scars make someone ugly and they “shouldn’t” have them, but Simon is somehow magnanimously overcoming his disgust and loving her anyway.  That line of reasoning still assumes that there’s a certain way that women should look, and also that it’s okay to judge them for it as long as one isn’t in love with that particular woman.

Anyway, the point of their whole conversation is that Simon is hungry and Isabelle wants him to drink her, but he thinks that’s a bad idea.  Simon really, really sucks at keeping himself fed, which is an interesting reaction to his vampirism, but it’s not treated as a reaction.  It’s treated as just him being really shitty and remembering to eat.

Anyway, Simon does eventually give in and eat her, and the whole mess is described disturbingly similar to a sex scene.  There’s throbbing and moaning and pulsing pleasure, the whole nine yards.

She scooted closer to him. “I am fine. You made yourself stop. And I’m a Shadowhunter. We replace blood at triple the rate a normal human being does.”

How…convenient. 

Really, what’s the point of this?  Why do they replace blood so fast?  Is it just there to make us feel better about Simon drinking Isabelle?  Because that strikes me as a very clumsy and obvious fix, and it doesn’t really make me feel better about this whole eating thing. 

The fact that she doesn’t suffer from blood loss, while stupid, is also beside the point.  The point is that it’s a dangerous, self-harming act.  He’s biting her and causing her injury.  There’s no guarantee that he’ll stop before going too far.  They have no safeguards in place, and she’s making this offer of blood out of a thoughtless, emotional urge, not out of any practical consideration.  If we were going to carry out the sex analogy, this would be like her saying “No, you don’t need a condom.  I’m sure if you just try really hard you can keep your sperm in check.”

It would be one thing to have Isabelle offer to feed him because there’s no other choice and she’d rather take a risk on herself rather than pass the risk on to someone else.  But if that was the motivation, then 1) get some other people around to act as a safety net and 2) don’t point out in the text that he has blood at home and can go get it.

Somehow, now, they fit, where they hadn’t before.

And now the sex analogy is making their relationship magical and perfect.  Uhg.  No.  That is not a message we want to send to impressionable teenage girls.

Hey, impressionable teenage girls!  Sex won’t fix you’re romance.  If you’re having issues with your boyfriend, work them out before sex, because sex will…well, I don’t know, it’s not a guarantee it’ll make it worse.  But it certainly won’t help or act as a relationship bandaide.  Especially don’t assume you have to rush into sex before you’re ready in order to “save” a shaky relationship. 

Are there any impressionable teenage girls reading this?  Oh well.

The next morning, Clary wakes up and sees the blood is cleaned up and hears voices in the hall.

The girl from last night, she thought. The one he’d said was asleep in his room. It was only then that she realized how much she’d suspected he was lying.

But since Clary has nothing resembling a conscience, even though she thought he was lying, she didn’t do anything to even attempt to help the poor girl.  She didn’t even give the girl a second thought. 

And then we get…uh, boring morning routine.  Clary showers and dresses and goes to the kitchen where the boys are cooking eggs.  If I wanted to read about this, I would have gone to a book that advertised itself as slice-of-life fiction.  Or fanfiction.  The only difference between this and what I did this morning in my parents’ kitchen is that Clary keeps going on about how Jace isn’t really Jace, but I’ve already covered that idiocy.

She hated that little voice in her head. Like the Seelie Queen, it planted doubts where there shouldn’t be doubts, asked questions that had no answer.

The Seelie Queen physically cannot tell a lie.  If your subconscious is the same, maybe you should listen to it.

Anyway, the apartment has magically moved to Prague, because the boys have an errand to run there.  To be honest, I kind of like the magical apartment.  It’s much better than using horses to get everywhere.  (Not exactly original, though.  I keep thinking of Howel’s Moving Castle.)

Clary thought of the Seelie Queen.

Enough with the fucking queen already.  All she wanted was her damn rings and to play shipper.  She actually hasn’t done anything bad to you.  Though she might now, since you can’t stop poking her with a stick for some reason.

Jonathan wants a strength rune from her, and she says she’ll only draw one on him if he lets her go on the errand.  Then he takes his shirt off and she sees he has whips scars that Valentine gave him for stupid reasons.  There’s no reason to be learning this, as it doesn’t add anything to his character, but this book is in love with scars and deep meanings and bullshit, so there we go.

Over with Maryse, she’s meeting with Brother Zach.  She has a bit of glass with Jonathan’s blood and an old bracelet from Jace.  She mentions that Voldemort could find all his followers through the Dark Mark– ah, I mean…yeah, that’s what I mean.  And she thinks Valentine might have put this same mark on Jace.

And, in fact, he has.  She can see him show up on the Marauder’s Map- ah, I mean…yeah, that’s what I mean.  Although notably missing is how this map works, if it’s a special map that she dug up or if she did some spell (that humans can’t do) to activate the tracking and link the bracelet to the map or whatever.  Just, she remembered this mark exists and suddenly now it’s doing stuff.  Convenient. 

“I know I should show it to the Clave,” she said. “But the Clave knows of his bond with Jonathan now.

Did I miss something?  Admittedly, it is hard to keep things straight when we get distracted by all the fluff and romance, but who told the Clave about this?  The kids and Jocelyn are the only people who know about this, and none of them have been talking, so where did this come from?

Does the Clave had Magical Mary Sue Knowing Powers, too?

Maryse is telling Brother Zach because she can’t stand to tell the Clave, and she wants Zach to go tell them instead.  He says it won’t be useful and she can keep the information to herself, because…reasons.  I guess this is just the book of no one telling people things.

Clary uses the rings to contact Simon and gives him an update on the weather.  No, really.

Looks a little like Idris from a distance.

Also, for all Clary went on about how special Idris was when she was there, she’s now been to two vastly different cities in Europe and thought they both look like Idris.  I’m starting to think this book assumes all of Europe looks alike.

It was odd, how she could be inside his head and he could still sense that she was hiding something.

Yup, odd how this incredibly intimate way of communicating results in some incredibly intimate communication.

Sebastian has in his room the box my mom used to own.

Man, I’m just itching to take a red pen to this book and mail it back to the publisher.  Not even the author, because this is the kind of stuff authors write when they’re in a hurry.  But to the publisher.  Find whoever was responsible for this mess and rub their nose in it.

I’m the one with Team Evil over here. You’re Team Good. Keep it in mind.

You know nothing’s that simple, Clary.

Excuse me while I go over here and LOL FOREVER.

They catch up on the events of the past few chapters, but pass on no new information.  Which is odd, since the whole point of this plan was for Clary to give them information on how to find and stop Jonathan, but so far she’s just been lollygagging around and sending in very vague and spotty reports.

So, Team Evil (yeah, yeah, I’m keeping the name) wanders around Prague for a while and acts like tourists and banters.  Mostly so the author can show off the handful of things she looked up about the city.

the window was full of old display bottles of different substances, their peeling labels marked in Latin. Clary was surprised when Sebastian headed toward it. What use could they possibly have for old bottles?

Clary, you are aware that people keep stuff in bottles, right?  And occasionally sell the stuff, not the bottles, even though the bottles come with it?

They’re there to meet a demon who is the store’s owner and buy a chunk of adamas, the metal they make the angel blades from.  The demon doesn’t like that he brought friends, which makes me wonder why Jace and Clary didn’t just wait outside with the cider vendor.  Really, not that difficult.  The demon says the price went up and he wants a lock of Clary’s hair, which she says is fine, and Jace has to point out that the demon doesn’t have a fucking crush on her or something.  He wants it to do magic with. 

Clary, why are you so stupid?

Anyway, Jonathan pisses of the demon like an idiot, so the demon turns into a big snake to attack them.

But we’ll have to wait on that, because it’s time for another scene change!  I really, really hate these scene changes.  They’re just there to create false tension, which isn’t needed in a novel and just pisses me off.  From the reviews I’ve read, even the fans of these books hate the scene jumping.

Simon and Isabelle wake up the next morning and are all relationship-y, but then Magnus knocks on the door and tells them to come out to the living room.  We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out why.