I didn’t think I’d sleep. I figured I’d lay there and miss home and think about the bizarre twist my life had taken.

So, yeah, this book runs on the rule of “whatever creates the most drama in this scene, regardless of past scenes.”  I mean, it’s not like Zoey ran away from home while declaring that nothing could ever be worse than her home life.

Honestly, though, I wouldn’t mind this line if it was Zoey coming to the realization that she was wrong, that she loves her mother, that there were some good things about her family.  Instead, we get a line where we’re not sure if she even misses home or not, just thinks that she would miss home if she weren’t so distracted thinking about the hot boy getting a blow job earlier.  She angsts for a bit about teenage woes like zits, because I know when I find out I’m an undead monster, zits remain high on my priority list.

Shit like this makes it really hard to take a character seriously.  There’s no sense of anyone living in the moment.  There’s no sense that they are adapting to their circumstances or changing or growing as a result.  Nope.  Instead, teenagers are worried about zits, regardless of the situation.

Zoey has a dream about cats.  It’s…um, just cats yelling at her and wondering why it took her so long to get to the school.  Duh, because your trackers suck at making sure the kids actually arive where they’re supposed to go. 

I grabbed my nerdy glasses and peeked at the time.

Fuck off, my glasses are sexy.

Seriously, there’s an uncommon amount of nerd-hate, considering this is a book.

Zoey spends too many words telling us about getting ready for school, all while continuing to deride other women.  Because Zoey knows how to put on make-up, unlike those other girls who go overboard and are also whores.  It’s like this author just physically could not stop herself from inserting hate-filled comments at every turn, to the point that she invented more places to put them.

Just in case you were wondering: Zoey is hot.  She spends a whole paragraph telling us what she looks like all over again, this time emphasizing her hotness and her Cherokee-ness.  Because heaven forbid we forget that she’s a Magic Indian.

Anyway, you’ll learn all about that kind of stuff [the physical changes in vampires, like how their hair grows abnormally fast] in Vamp Sociology class.

…THAT’S NOT SOCIOLOGY!  THAT’S PHYSIOLOGY!

Zoey gets a schedule, which is dated on top, but the date is five days before she was marked.  So…damn, I just can’t get over how full of fail this school is.  They don’t get their students in a timely manner, they don’t explain shit to the parents, they don’t help the kids get to school.  I mean, sure, guides to your new school aren’t exactly the norm, but normal schools don’t have new students that are physically ill and facing extreme prejudice.  Adjustments have to be made.

Her schedule is fairly normal, except that it has two PE classes.  She has fencing and horseback riding in the same day.  Either one of those would wear you out, but both?  With only an hour break in between? 

I want to say more about the classes, but this is only one semester’s worth, so it’s hard to tell if she’s just got a light semester or if the whole school fails to understand academics. 

SR says she wants to be a country music star, and then name-drops a bunch of country singers and says that they are all vamps.  Fucking hell, book, you couldn’t even just make up some people?  You had to take real-life singers and vamp-ify them?  There’s just something so completely creepy about that.

The girl twanged so bad she sounded like an ad for a trailer park, but no way was I gonna hurt her feelings by mentioning it.

No, but you’ll keep thinking it.  Also, what’s with the implication that “Hey, you have an accent” is some sort of insult?  This just serves to imply that of course SR would be insulted because of course everyone knows that country accents are stupid and to be ashamed of. 

With all these cats you’d think that there would definitely be a need for vamp vets. (Hee hee…vamp vets…I could call my clinic Vamp Vets, and the ads would read: “We’ll take your blood for free!”)

Oh, god, the writing is just so painful.  It hurts me to read it.

Aphrodite shows up over breakfast to give Zoey info about their ‘full-moon ritual’ that day/night.  She’s perfectly polite, but that doesn’t stop Zoey from insulting her ass as she walks away. 

SR gets all impressed with Zoey for not letting Aphrodite ‘boss her around.’  Eh?  Aphrodite said she’d walk with Zoey to the ritual place, Zoey said that she’d find it on her own.  Big fucking deal.  She’s still going, which is a lot more give than just letting someone escort.  Turning Aphrodite down for the group, period, would be much more impressive than just say “nah, I don’t want to walk with you.”  And even then, it would only be comparatively impressive, not objectively impressive. 

Damnit, book, stop praising Zoey for the stupidest shit imaginable.

Then they head off to class and the chapter mercifully ends.