Zoey skips class (with permission) to call her grandmother. 

I mean, Mom had quit loving me, hadn’t she? Or, at the very least, Mom had traded me in for a new husband, which in some ways was worse than quitting loving me.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW????????  I mean it, her mother was shown to be quite concerned for her wellbeing.  We never get to see what her mother was like before the remarriage, we never get to see any instances of this ‘trading in,’ we don’t even know why John is a bad person.  Zoey has just declared it to be so and then laments on it endlessly, without actually telling us what the fuck is going on.  The one time we see her mom take John’s side is when Zoey asks her to straight-up lie.

Zoey tells someone, again, that she drank blood and liked it.  Fourth time this has been repeated.  Get some new material, book.

On top of that, the readers of this book have voluntarily picked up a novel about vampires.  Why does she think we give this many fucks over the drinking blood thing?  That Zoey would be this upset, okay, fine.  But the readers have accepted this concept before the novel even started.  Stop rehashing it.

I think I’m stronger than she is and I think that maybe Nyx Marked me so that I can get her out of the position she’s in.

The gods got bored and decided to fuck around in high school drama.  Yeah.  Sure.  If you say so.  A high school clique is now a matter of cosmic importance.

Also, if Nyx wants Aphrodite out of power, she could just come down and say so.  She’s got a High Priestess right there she can talk to.

But—but that would mean that I have to take her place, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that, not now.

Uh, what?  Who said you have to take over?  Where was this rule written?  Oh, right, nowhere.  Zoey just spontaneously decided that if she kicks Aphrodite out, she’ll have to take over instead, even though there’s been nothing to indicate as much.

Expose Aphrodite and let someone else take her spot.  There.  Drama solved.

Grandma suggests she do a ritualistic prayer that’s of Cherokee origin and yet…involves praying to the goddess (lower case this time, wtf?) and using sage and lavender.  Both those plants are not native to North America.  These ladies aren’t Cherokee, they’re Greek.  Somehow. 

Erik shows up at lunch to spout of some idiocy.

Yeah, but it’s not the same as being a Dark Daughter. We’re just ornamental.  Kinda the opposite of how it is in the human world. All the guys know that we’re just there to look good and keep Aphrodite  mused.

“Yeah, they treat us in a sexist manner, but we don’t care.  Mostly because being considered an ornament is no biggie.  Really, I don’t know why you women get all up in arms about it all the time.  It’s just some harmless fun.”

Because fuck feminism, that’s why.

Erik asks her out.

“It’s Star Wars, the original ones. I know all the lines for all the parts.” He leaned closer and whispered again. “I can even do Chewbacca’s parts.”

I laughed. “You’re right. You are a dork.”

Because it’s not like STAR FUCKING WARS is considered a film classic or nothing, hailed as a masterpiece of storytelling even by people who don’t like sci-fi, and someone who’s super into acting would probably know this.

I’d be much more impressed if he knew all the line to the original Star Trek movies.

Also, fuck the dork-hate.

Anyway, Zoey turns down the date and tells her friends it’s because she’s going to be too busy tonight getting rid of Aphrodite. 

Chapter Twenty-two

I thought I’d perform an ancient purification prayer based on Cherokee ritual and ask Nyx to help me come up with a plan.

Her plan is to ask someone else to make her plan for her.  Our hero, ladies and gents!

“Something inside me says it’s just wrong to let her get away with all the crap she’s getting away with.”

‘Something.’  Not her own morals, convictions, values, or intelligence.  Nope.  ‘Something’ told her it’s wrong. 

Zoey tells the group about the ‘feeling the elements’ thing, and somehow that proves that she can take down Aphrodite.  I’m really confused right now.  Is ‘take down’ a euphemism for ‘magic battle’?  What do her elemental powers have to do with anything?  This entirely a sociopolitical matter, magic shouldn’t enter into it, nor should ‘strength.’

This is not a matter that should be settled by who is strongest, it should be settled by what’s morally right.

They all go on about the things they’ll need for Zoey’s hybrid Cherokee/Greek/neopagan ritual, and this issue takes up two whole pages.  Then there’s a “your mom” joke.

At the end of the school day, Aphrodite shows up all angry because she thinks Zoey is going on the date with Erik.  Zoey says spiteful things about the blowjob incident, and Aphrodite tries to scratch her, but Zoey stops her.

It was like she was a small, sick child who had struck out in anger, but was really too weak to do any harm.

Yeah…because we really need one more example of that sick trope.  The one that says that violence from females is either funny or pathetic, because they are basically impotent anyway.

Because fuck feminism, that’s why.

They snipe at each other for a while about Erik and the Dark Daughters group, and I continue to fail to see why Aphrodite is considered such a Queen Bee.  She’s barely functional on a social level.

But somehow, Zoey is just omg so brave and awesome you guys for standing up to her.  As SR is only too happy to tell her, after Aphrodite leaves.

“She really, really hates your guts.”

“She really, really does.”

“You know what that means?” Stevie Rae said.

“Yep. I don’t have any choice now. I’m going to have to take her down.”

…  Really?  You’re going to stick with that, book?  Your stated reason for deposing this girl is that she doesn’t like you?  Is not being part of the Zoey Redbird Fanclub now a punishable offense?

Apparently so.

Chapter Twenty Three

Everyone meets under the oak tree with their stolen supplies so they can do the ritual.  Everyone gets matched to their pretty stereotypical elements (you gave fire to the black girl?  Because she’s just such a firecracker?) and everyone’s super-happy with the choices.  Guess they’re all about to discover a previously-unknown affinity.

More stuff copied off the internet as Zoey explains ‘smudging’ and tells them the magic properties of sage and lavender.  (Both plants that originated in the Mediterranean…and now are inexplicably being attributed to the Cherokee.)

There’s just so much fail in this scene as they talk about ‘summoning spirits’ and make much of Zoey’s supposed Cherokee-ness.  It’s…it’s nonsensical and hurts my head.  Let’s leave it at that.

“It’s true that we don’t like Aphrodite, but I think it’s important not to focus on negatives like kicking her ass or pushing her out of the Dark Daughters. That’s what she would do in our place. What we want is what’s right. More like justice than revenge. We’re different than her, and if we somehow manage to take her place in the Dark Daughters, that group will be different, too.”

Pretty words.  Too bad it was ruined by what you said last chapter.

And if justice really was such an issue, you’d tell the fucking authorities about what she’s doing.

In fact…what is it they think makes her so bad?  That she eats other kids?  Zoey herself doesn’t see anything wrong with that, because she has no fucks to give for Elliot.  That she lies about her visions?  She has no proof about that except supposition, and for some reason she’s willing to do magic based on her guess but not willing to talk it through with Neferet? 

Really, the thing they’ve complained the most about in this book is that she’s mean.  That’s it.  She’s mean, and therefore it’s okay to go through this much trouble and do god-knows-what to get rid of her.  PUNISHING PEOPLE FOR BEING RUDE IS NOT JUSTICE. 

ALL OF THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF PETTINESS AND REVENGE.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BOOK?

So, Zoey gets around to doing the circle part, lighting all the elemental candles and ‘calling’ those elements into their circle.  Every time she does it, the elements really do come in, and the scene is interspersed with lots of comments about how super uber awesome Zoey is.  Then she says…what’s pretty frankly a pretty standard prayer asking a deity for guidance and wisdom.

And that’s it.  End of chapter.  Frankly, this was a pretty dull one.  It was mostly just a rehash of some mystic mumbo-jumbo and explaining abstract concepts like ‘asking the spirits for help’ and such.  I bet it was really easy to write, since it honestly feels like about half of this was just paraphrased from some neo-pagan website.