Remember last time, when we ended with Diana’s emo tears of ultimate sadness?  They are magic emo tears of ultimate sadness.  She’s literally crying a river of tears and almost drowns in them.  Seriously, you guys only wish could be as tragically sad and emo as this chick right here.  (Again, what part of this is supposed to be anything except teenager-y?)  She even pulls a Bella and ‘happily’ surrenders to drowning while thinking of her tragically-torn-from-her boyfriend.  Because it’s just that sad that she can’t date him.  You guys don’t even understand.

Ysabeau and Marthe talk–erm, sing? her down from her tragic magic (oo, that should be a band name) and so her water lets her go.  Interesting fact, now Ysabeau is referred to as ‘Matthew’s mother’ every other time she’s mentioned.  Does the text think we’d forgotten who she is, or did the author want a continued excuse to keep typing ‘Matthew’ now that’s out of the scene?

We get a scene where the two vampires basically coddle Diana, putting her in a hot bath and wrapping her in towels and just in general playing nursemaid.  Diana cares not, because everything is just sad and dull and colorless without her precious Matthew around.  And honestly, at this point, I’d welcome Twilight’s blank pages.  Better than this overwrought drivel.  Pull yourself together, woman, he’s only gone for a couple of days!

Look, he even calls you from the airport!  It’s an utterly pointless conversation, but still.

Ysabeau learns about Diana’s visions and then…tells her a bedtime story.  About how she turned Matthew.  Great, because that’s really what this book needed.  More backstory.  In fact, this is a very convoluted backstory that even includes the history of the castle and the village nearby.

Long story short?  Matthew had a wife and kid, they died, he got sad, he fell of a roof and almost died, but Ysabeau turned him while he was half insane with pain in order to save his life.  Six pages just to get that trite little story.

I wanted Ysabeau to tell me the particulars of how she had made Matthew

Uhg, no, the last thing we need in this book is more details.

Diana realizes that if she became a vampire, she’d live forever with Matthew and he wouldn’t get all depressed like he did with his first wife, and also they’d be ‘allowed.’  But then she couldn’t magic the book and the plot would be over, what little there is.

Instead they talk about how creatures shouldn’t be getting into other creature’s space (but…humans don’t have the same laws?  what?) and they think that the break-in was to lure Matthew out of France.  Diana wants to warn him; Ysabeau says he already knows.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” I asked for what seemed like the hundredth time since I came to Sept-Tours.

“No,” both women said at the same moment.

“You really do have a lot to learn about vampires,” Ysabeau said once again, but this time she sounded mildly regretful.

I’d really like to know what kind of excuse the author thinks will pass for making vampires utter, arrogant assholes.  Not because there’s any possible excuse for this behavior, but just because it’s hard to properly rant when I don’t know how broken her logic is.