Diana starts to freak out over that very benign statement from last chapter.  Really, all Miriam said was ‘in the alchemical allegory, after “marriage” comes “conception.’”  It wasn’t even ‘hey, Di-Di, you’re preggo,’ just a vague and symbolick recounting of a metaphor.  You know, one of those things were one thing is compared to another but they aren’t actually the same?  As in, metals in a alchemic transmutation don’t actually become impregnated?  Yeah, she’s freaking out over that.

But still nothing over being tortured and thrown in a pit overnight.

Matthew gets uber-protective of her while she’s freaking out.

“We call it shielding,” her bell-like soprano chimed. “Ever seen a hawk with its prey? That’s what Matthew’s doing.”

Yes, what a great comparison to make.  Rather than evoking a loving image, like maybe momma bear and cub, or even just the very standard ‘dude with his lady-love,’ instead she goes with predator and prey.  Matthew doesn’t want to protect her, he just wants to keep her so that he can eat her in peace later.

They even debate whether or not Matthew would attack Miriam if she got too close, because he’s deep in ‘overprotective’ territory.  This is a man who will literally fly off the handle and attack friends and family if they don’t walk on eggshells around him.  How is it possible to read this as anything except abusive?

Miriam and Marcus announce that Diana had Vanishing Twin Syndrome, meaning her twin brother died in utero and fetus-Diana absorbed him.  Turns out all the powers that Diana doesn’t have?  Her brother did, so now she’s got them, which is kind of a pointless realization since we were already told she has every power ever, period, end of story, and also some new ones.

And what the fuck does any of this have to do with the preggo comment?  Miriam, were you just trolling?

…It seems the whole point of bringing that up was to imply that Matthew and Diana can have kids.  They dither on for a while about alchemy and how the ‘sun king’ and ‘moon queen’ in that allegory have a kid, and then about how all the various magic creatures are dying out, and…then assume that the creatures can cross breed.  No proof, no scientific support, no backing for this theory, just “well it works that way in the alchemic allegory, so maybe it’ll work that way in real life, too!”

Book, do you know what an allegory is?  Why are you taking it so literally?

Ah, their arguments are…based almost solely on instincts?  Apparently Matthew’s behavior towards Diana goes beyond protecting a mate and into ‘protecting future children’ territory, and I’m sorry, if we’re talking about animal instincts here, aren’t those two things the same?  And…are Matthew’s instincts now precognizant?  How did his ‘instincts’ know that he’d end up having kids with Diana?  If the argument is that creatures are literally changing their DNA by way of ridiculously-contrived, doesn’t-work-that-way evolution, then where does all this fit in?  Are they saying that Diana and Matthew are the only two able to have cross-species kids, and that’s why they were drawn together?  Because, if we go back to animal-instincts again, wolves don’t have pre-destined mates that they instantly start over-protecting.  So would Matthew have done this to any witch he wanted to bang?

And for fuck’s sake, stop with all the instinct talk.  They aren’t animals, and constantly reducing them to instincts is quite insulting.  I know humans have instincts as well, and we’re more influenced by them than we like to admit, but this book literally boils everything down to that explanation.  It’s instincts-on-steroids.  It’s downright mind boggling. 

Then there’s more talk of mitochondrial DNA.  There’s been some really fascinating stuff over here in the real world tracing the history of human development, migration, and evolution through mtDNA, including the mythical Mitochondrial Eve, and I suggest looking into it if you feel so inclined.  Pretty much anything that talks about really, really early human development or halpogroups will include a discussion on the topic (provided it was written recently). 

But back to the story, which takes a fascinating area of study and twists it into being another cherry on top of the Mary Sue Pie.  Seems that there are four known ‘Eve’s in witch genetics, but Diana is descendent from a previously-unknown fifth family.  Also, they think that Diana’s fifth-clan bloodline will die out if she doesn’t have kids.

Um, what?

They honestly think that Diana is the last female descendent of a woman that lived, at a conservative estimate, forty thousand years ago?  Unless that mtDNA had a reproductive time-bomb attached to it, then I seriously doubt that Diana is the sole carrier of the bloodline.  The fact that they hadn’t seen her mtDNA before only means that they haven’t tested every witch out there.  Probably not even most witches.  Saying that Diana is the only one found is a far cry from saying that Diana is the only one, period.

And on top of that, so what?  So this clan dies out.  What changes?  Is the cure for cancer in her mtDNA?

Uhg, knowing this book, it probably is.

AND there’s a reference to Lilith and a bunch of legends surrounding her.  And everyone gets all serious-face over how similar said legends are to Diana and Matthew.  I just can’t take this seriously.  First they’re talking about DNA tests and mating instincts, and then they’re talking about allegories as if they’re real life and legends as if they’re of any relevance at all.  I mean, it is a fantasy book.  If you want to tell me that Lilith really did exist and had sex with an angel and produced kids that way, and if you want to tell me that this history has some sort of impact on what’s going on now, fine.  But tell me that.  Don’t just bring it up as a legend and then let it hang there while making serious faces.  I’m not going to do anything except that think everyone involved is an idiot.

Miriam says that the possibility of them having kids is probably going to lead to civil war, because Matthew has already called up the Knights of Lazarus, and pretty soon everyone’s going to be divided along shipper lines.  Miriam points out that Matthew has a habit of getting people killed when he goes after what he wants, on account of him being a raging asshole with no regard for the wishes and rights of those around him.

“Once again Matthew de Clermont wants what he cannot have. He hasn’t changed at all.” […] “Perhaps you’ll remain true to him, even after you know him better,” Miriam continued, her voice dead. “But how many more creatures will Matthew destroy on your behalf?

So, Miriam notes that he’s an ass…and instead of confronting Matthew about, turns around and lays the guilt-trip tactics on Diana.  She’s basically saying “this is your fault for encouraging him” instead of placing the responsibility on the person who is actually committing the murders.

Sarah finds out that Matthew killed Gillian.

“Gillian’s dead. She and Peter Knox sent me the picture of Mom and Dad in Nigeria. It was a threat, and Matthew felt he had to protect me. It’s instinctive in him, like breathing. Please try to forgive him.”

And that he apparently kills people at the drop of a hat and without any control over his actions or even any remorse.  Basically, he’s a lose canon with a hair trigger and might start ripping off the heads of people around him, and said people don’t even know what his triggers are so they can’t avoid setting him off.  He’s extremely dangerous to be around. 

So Sarah does the first sane thing anyone has done yet in this book.  She kicks everyone out of her house.  Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be around a creature who might kill me before I even know what imagined offence I’ve committed.

The house reacts oddly, by kicking Diana out of the room and locking everyone else inside.  Then she goes to talk to Matthew (who has been on the phone outside this whole time).  They talk about if they want kids and decide they both don’t know, so Diana will take the contraceptive tea and also modern BC pills, even though they may be no good against magic.  Better than nothing. 

Distinctly missing from this conversation?  Any sort of consideration to the fact that them having kids might lead to open warfare with the Congregation.  Apparently neither of them give two fucks about that.  They are well matched in their sociopathy. 

They go inside and decide to ply Sarah with wine while completely ignoring her very valid request for them all to get the fuck out of her house.  Diana gets a tray of drinks together.

“What?” I looked up. “Did I forget something?”

A smile played at the corners of his mouth. “No, ma lionne. I’m just trying to figure out how I acquired such a fierce wife. Even putting cups on a tray, you look formidable.”

Yes, you do just such a good job at domestic roles.  I mean, who needs self-defense and independence and mutual respect when I can instead admire the way you put cups on a tray.

Apparently Sarah has given up on her sanity is now okay with having a homicidal vampire with unknown murder-triggers in her house.

Diana makes a couple good points about how, if cross-breeding really is the key to keeping everyone from dying out, then might as well make a stand on the issue.  If they don’t do it for Diana and Matthew, then some other star-crossed couple will do it instead, which will just mean more pain, but on someone else’s shoulders, so they might as well take it on themselves instead.

And then she ruins that by imperiously declaring that if there’s going to be a ‘war,’ then Matthew is ‘genera’ and they all have to listen to him or GTFO.  So everyone falls in line, because I know when I go to war, I totally want to be led by some jackass who’s willing to throw me under a bus for making his girlfriend mildly scared.

Oh, wait, no, that’s crazy.