Staying quietly in bed is harder after that. I want to be doing something, finding out more about District 13 or helping in the cause to bring down the Capitol. Instead I sit around stuffing myself with cheese buns and watching Peeta sketch.

There’s a reason the author is doing this, of course.  It’s because this book isn’t actually about the rebellion.  It’s about Katniss going back into the arena and repeating the plot of the last book.  Katniss can’t be bothered to actually do anything about all this rebellion that isn’t happening, because he author knows it’s going to meaningless in a chapter or two. 

But in that case, why even start this aborted little tumor of a plot?  Why bring it up if it’s never going to be used?  It’s like this author has never heard of the concept of editing your shit when you write yourself into a corner.

Speaking of editing, we’re now two full chapters into the section called “THE QUELL” and we still haven’t heard any word on that.  This is even worse than the first book.

Their biggest concern is my face, although I think my mother did a pretty remarkable job healing it. There’s just a pale pink strip across my cheekbone. The whipping’s not common knowledge, so I tell them I slipped on the ice and cut it.

So, pretty much the whole point of having these three characters is so that Katniss can randomly realize that the Capitol citizens can’t be blamed for the Games (just Snow!) because they are so uninformed and all that.

Well then how about YOU STOP LYING TO THEM?  Tell them you got it protecting your friend from being whipped.  Lying to them doesn’t accomplish anything except to help the government keep them uninformed and in the dark. Plus, they live in the Capitol and see other people there.  Did you ever think maybe one of the best bits of rebellion you can accomplish is to get these three to spread the word?

No, of course you didn’t.  Because you see your prep team as sub-human pets, barely smart enough to tie their own shoes, just there to genuflect over you and let you show off your pity.  They’re not real people to you.  Sociopath.

My mind starts buzzing. No seafood. For weeks. From District 4. The barely concealed rage in the crowd during the Victory Tour.

Since we’re not actually going to get to see a rebellion in 12, wouldn’t it be nice if all that red-herring page time had instead been spent on the tour and seeing all this stuff happen?

In fact, how great would it have been if Snow never visited Katniss at all and she had to put the coming rebellion together just from observing the crowds in each district?  Granted, we’d have to change Katniss’s character into one capable of simple observation, but that would be a nice change, too.

They are not used to want, so any little disruption in supply makes an impact on them.

But why aren’t they?

See, every bit of seafood comes from one place.  If there’s a hurricane or something, then there’s nowhere else to get seafood from, so there’s going to be a shortage.  All their electronics come from one place, so if there’s a problem in a factory and it needs to be reset *boom* no more TVs for a while.  If there’s blight in the one-and-only orchard area, no more fruit.  If there’s a disease in District 10, no more beef until that gets fixed.  The only way they wouldn’t have experienced shortages before is if the Capitol keeps a stockpile of stuff to hand out when there’s problems, and if they have that, why not use it now?

Somehow I don’t think he believes the slipping-on-the-ice story, but he doesn’t question it. He simply adjusts the powder on my face, and what little you can see of the lash mark vanishes.

Yes, heaven forbid either one of you do less than dance for your masters.

I mean, you can’t show Katniss with a scar and hope it makes a few people ask questions.  Nope, because you see, then Katniss would be ugly.  We can’t have that.  KATNISS MUST ALWAYS BE PERFECT.

there are six gowns and each one requires its own headpiece, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, setting, and lighting. Creamy lace and pink roses and ringlets. Ivory satin and gold tattoos and greenery. A sheath of diamonds and jeweled veil and moonlight. Heavy white silk and sleeves that fall from my wrist to the floor, and pearls.

So you’ve just been through a period of wide-spread starvation, deprivation, and cruel whippings.  Now you’re being presented with enough wealth to feed the District several times over, and by the way, five of these gowns will be straight-up thrown out at the end of the voting process.  All that money and effort spent making gowns that aren’t even going to be used.

Any thoughts, Katniss?

No?  None at all?

*crickets*

But I need Haymitch or Peeta or somebody to share the burden of all that has happened to me since I went to the lake.

Things that have happened to Katniss since the lake:

1) discovered that ruins apparently don’t ‘smolder’ for 74 years

2) sat in bed and ate cheese buns

3) had a photoshoot

Thinks that happened to everyone else since then:

1) DEATH

Priorities, Katniss.

Fleeing outlaws, electrified fences, an independent District 13, shortages in the Capitol. Everything.

…Katniss, that didn’t happen to you.  You learned about that, but literally nothing in that list has happened to you.

Words!  They mean things.

Also, you know literally nothing about District 13.  Maybe they’re not independent, they’re just the Capitol’s little secret slavery mine.  Maybe they’re the secret source of Peacekeepers.  Maybe they don’t go there because it really is ‘toxic’ even with suits.  Maybe they reuse footage because they’re lazy.

Oh, wait, Katniss isn’t an unreliable narrator.  She’s always right when she guesses things, because we’re not supposed to figure out this world, we’re supposed to just sit back and have its randomness told to us, regardless of all logic or other possibilities.  Check your brains at the door; they’re useless here.

Spring would be a good time for an uprising, I think. Everyone feels less vulnerable once winter passes.

You know what’s not been a factor in any of her thoughts?  Resources.  She doesn’t think that spring would be better because they can actually feed themselves locally (actually, that would be more summer for that to be true), and she never thinks that winter would be a bad time because they’re completely dependent on shipped-in supplies.  It’s not ever a factor in her brain.  I guess because she’s never been deprived or had to concern herself with where her next meal is coming from?  Yeah, that must be it.

Middle class brat.

Haymitch and I can speak in a kind of shorthand now.

…because you intentionally developed a code?  Because you’re telepathic?  Because he already knows most of the details due to no longer lying your ass off to everyone?

Because reasons?

“If things really do get out of hand, I think they’d have no problem killing off another district, same as they did Thirteen. Make an example of it, you know?”

And then do what?  I assume they were fine with destroying 13 because there’s no one left to use nukes against, so their area of industry was no longer useful.  But where will they get their factories or seafood or cattle from if they destroy another district? 

Is that why they destroy 12 in the next book?  Because they have nuclear power from 7, so it seems like 12 is kind of extraneous anyway.

In the few minutes of privacy we’ve had, with me walking him back to town, I gather that the rumblings of an uprising in 12 have been subdued by Thread’s crackdown.

Katniss, the utterly reliable narrator, is not informing us that severe and sudden oppression does not make people angry.

See, we can’t figure these things out on our own, because this book takes place in No Research Land.  You cannot figure out the rules of No Research Land, because they don’t exist. 

But he must also know that if we don’t revolt in 12, I’m destined to be Peeta’s bride.

PRIORITIES, BOTH OF YOU.  GET SOME.

Having voted, and probably bet on the winner, people are very invested in my wedding gown.

Author, do you just have some particular hatred for betting?  Did Vegas kick your puppy or something?  Why do you keep harping on it?

Quarter Quell. It would call for a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the districts’ rebellion.

But…isn’t that the stated purpose of the Games themselves? 

I am going back into the arena.

Well of course you are.  You spent the whole last book refusing to think about being a sponsor if you won, so anyone who picked up on the lazy writing tricks in these books could see from a mile away that you’d never have to actually sponsor anyone.

I mean, doing that would be both interesting and take the spotlight off Katniss.  We can’t have that.