That night, long after the party had ended and all of our guests were gone, I was lying in bed, thinking about Ava, what she said about Riley being stuck, and how I was to blame.

For the record, here’s everything Ava said about Riley:

“I’m worried about your little sister. I think it’s time she moves on, don’t you?”

This book either had some serious continuity issues, or Ever is projecting her own feelings of guilt on others. I think it is the guilt issue, at least in part. Ever is dealing with disturbing amounts of guilt. But there’s no hint of self-awareness on the book’s part when it comes to rewriting history. She keeps calling it all her fault, but fails to provide us with a reason for that, so I’m wondering if maybe Ever was driving the car in a previous edit of this book. (I checked to make sure I’m not the one remembering wrong, and nope, she stated she was in the back seat at the time of the accident.)

I know Ava’s only trying to help, offering to stand in as some sort of psychic big sister, what she doesn’t realize is that I don’t want any help. That even though I yearn to be normal again, go back to the way things were before, I also know that this is my punishment.

Tell me again how therapy is stupid and you don’t need it?  It’s my favorite bedtime story.

The next morning, guess what guys? THERE’S MORE TALKING ABOUT DAMEN.  Riley wants to know why she’s dressing in her old baggy clothes now that she has a boyfriend.  Seems it didn’t occur to her that if Damen likes her when she wore baggy clothes, then he’d…still like her while she wears baggy clothes.

This book is obsessed with talking about clothes.

“Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you, but he’s hardly my boyfriend. I haven’t talked to him since,”

It was a whole 8 hours ago and I was asleep the whole time BUT HE HASN’T CALLED ME, WOE, THAT MEANS HE DOESN’T LIKE ME!  CRAI CRAI!

They talk about her old boyfriend, and I don’t care.  They leave to pick up Miles, he wants to talk about Damen, and I still don’t care. This book is nothing but people gossiping. They aren’t even saying anything new when they do it. Despite the fact that Damen has been the focus of nearly every conversation so far, we know very little about him. Everyone in school thinks he’s hot, he makes Ever’s lady-bits tingle, and he can do magic tricks and paint really well.  That’s it. 13 chapters of talking about the guy and that’s all we know about him.  You practically have to try to get to that level of brainbashing boredom.

my dad confiscated my phone and dragged me to the batting cages, so he could watch me swing like a girl.

Because all gay men are basically girls, right?  And girls can’t do physical things because they’re weak and pathetic, right?

Fuck this book.

“He didn’t call? Or text? Or e-mail? Or drop by?” Miles gasps

Oh my, how terrible!  It’s not like he could just…be waiting to see you a school the next day…

In class, Damen is still doing the “pull flowers out from behind your ear” trick on all the girls, but he does it with tulips instead of roses for Ever.  Just for Ever.  She fails to understand that this is an indication of special attention to her, and instead mopes.

Then she mopes more.

Then she mopes more.

Her whole school day is just moping and we ‘get’ to read about it.

I’m bored, so I looked up flower meanings:

“The meaning of tulips is generally perfect love . Like many flowers, different colors of tulips also often carry their own significance. Red tulips are most strongly associated with true love.”

“With its pristine appearance, the elegant white rose has come to symbolize purity, innocence and secrecy.”

You’d think with the amount of time Ever spends obsessing over him, she’d look this stuff up, too.

Later that day, Haven gushes about how awesome her party was. Ever mentions that she’s changing her look to a style more like Drina’s, and she presents this news so ominously. Considering Haven is 16 and it’s perfectly natural to still be tweaking and adjusting your preferences at that age, I have no fucks to give.  Hell, I’m almost 30 and I’ll still see someone else wearing a cool outfit and go “neat, I never thought of that, I should try it.”

On account of how, you know, it’s just clothes and not actually that important.

“But I’m totally over it now: Seriously. Pinky swear.”

I reluctantly curl my pinky around hers and tune into her energy. And I’m completely amazed to see that she really does mean it. I mean, just this weekend she’d pegged me as Public Enemy #1, but now she’s clearly not bothered, though I can’t really see why.

OMG, you mean, she’s actually being reasonable now?  How shocking! I wonder if having enough time to calm down and think about this is to blame?  Or maybe having a conversation with someone she likes who helped her work through her feelings and realize that her crush on Damen was just a stand-in for something else? Or maybe the attention and consideration she got from Drina was a suitable replacement for the attention she wanted to get from Damen and therefore she’s not so desperate to obtain his partnership?

No, it can’t be anything like that, that would make too much sense for this book.  It must be reasons of EVIL!

But even though it’s business as usual over there, with everyone up to the same old antics, for today at least, it’s flower free.

I guess because Damen’s not there.

Do you really think that counts as dramatic tension, book?

Aw, you do, that’s…so pathetic.