The chapter opens with America emerging from the safe room. She decides upon seeing a pile of rubble that it was the Southern Rebels that attacked. Just as a reminder – Southern Rebels = death. Northern Rebels = minor inconvenience. So, America concludes from the pile of rubble that these are the deadly type of rebels? From a pile of rubble? Do tell, does this rubble contain severed heads?

                She also wishes that the staff would have worked harder to remove all the mess in the hallways. Let’s review. America has been sleeping in the uber-safe room most of the night. The staff, who were not protected, probably spent the night cowering underneath beds and in closets, praying for their lives, while the !DeathRebels! attacked.  Clearly, they should have been able to make everything spick and span so that America didn’t have the burden of stepping over a pile of rubble. Priorities – get them.

                I spied a group of maids working to scrub away giant letters on a far wall.

 WE’RE COMING

The line was repeated down the hall, sometimes written in mud, other times in paint; and one appeared to be done in blood. Chills ran through me, and I wondered what that meant.

I’m a little confused here. Is America wondering what the message means or what the fact that the message was written in blood means? Either way I feel like it is pretty obvious. We’re coming and we’re not afraid to kill you. Yep, that about sums it up. Next?

                But before our beautiful protagonist can exercise any brainpower her ninja/pet maids come to the rescue to soothe all her worries away. I mean it isn’t like the palace was under attack or at least one person was either badly injured or killed for a death message. Nope, we are going to go straight to pampering. You know what’s lacking here? America’s concern for the safety of her maids. She’s supposed to be this caring individual, but never once does she ask about how the maids handled the attack or express concern about their feelings. That is because the maids are simply pets that keep America feeling good about herself. They don’t have feelings.

                And what’s the best course of action after your palace has been under attack? You guessed it! Let’s go outside and have a picnic out on the lawn! At least they didn’t go as far as painting big red bulls eyes on themselves. That was probably removed in the second draft. These royals deserve to be overrun if they are that stupid. I just…ugh.

                We get a description from America about what everyone is doing which includes everything except cowering in fear from being outside…after a rebel attack…where someone got seriously hurt. Are we really supposed to forget about some poor maid/butler the rebels bled for a death message? There has been no mention so far as to casualties and I’m willing to bet we will go the whole chapter or maybe even the whole book without knowing.

                We even get a little bit of flirting and jealousy in there. Oh, no! Maxon might like someone else! But I like someone else! But I like Maxon too! Oh, whatever shall I do? ENOUGH ALREADY! I feel like l’ve seen this before…in EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER. Is this the Matrix? Will Agent Anderson be the leader of the !DeathRebels! and come in to kill the angst for good? YESSSS! Sorry, I let my imagination go a little bit. Back to the chapter.

                While America worries about everything except being attacked by rebels we see some interaction between Maxon and his father. Whereas I think America makes a good point about learning by doing, I’m a little thrown off by the randomness. For one, as far as I know, and please correct me if I’m wrong, but Princes usually have tutors that give them special instruction because the King is busy running a country and everything. Why would this even come up and where are Maxon’s tutors? Shouldn’t they be the ones he is bouncing ideas off of?

                Bla,bla,bla. Maxon shows affection for someone else. America gets all pouty and needy. We’ve seen this already. Then we get this little gem:

                I was almost grateful for Celeste at that moment. She might have been a hundred things that irritated me, but she was also impossible to intimidate. I could use some of that.

                Just to clarify, Kriss is trying to get her Maxon time in and Celeste is essentially cock blocking her. So, America only likes Celeste when she is keeping someone else from flirting with Maxon? The text doesn’t really show how Celeste overcame intimidation either, so the comment doesn’t make much sense. All Kriss did was smile and eat a finger sandwich. Was it a finger sandwich of death?!

                Now that Maxon is being polite to another girl, America can fall back on Aspen yet again. Their flirty interaction, happening in front of everyone, is blissfully cut short by a rebel attack.

                Evidentially these rebels came from inside the palace. Inside? Really? Those palace guards didn’t, you know, scour the place before letting the royal family out of the uber-safe room? From the description it seems like there are quite a few of them. That failed to call attention? Really? Are these the dumbest guards ever?

                America finally realizes what “WE’RE COMING” means. Day late and a dollar short, sweetie. Try harder next time. The ninja maids take care of the queen, because the guards are probably too busy eating finger sandwiches.

                As several of the guards reached under their dark uniforms and pulled out guns, I understood what that sound was.

                Let’s take a look at police officers. They wear their guns in a holster on their belt. I bet you can guess why. Because they may need to get to them in a hurry. I can imagine nothing more cumbersome than trying to get to a weapon hidden underneath your clothing. Sounds like a good way to accidentally shoot yourself.  I’m convinced these guards are purely for show. They fail to secure a palace after an attack, they keep their guns under their uniforms where they could get tangled in clothing and they fail to get the royal family immediately out of harm’s way.  

Through this whole ordeal Maxon and his father THE KING are still outside. Have you ever seen a video of the Secret Service after an assassination attempt? Those guys don’t waste any time. They’re priority is to get whoever they are protecting to safety right away. But in this world THE KING and the heir to the throne are standing around long enough to witness America trying to get out of the way of the rebels? Fail. Fail on the guards and fail on the rebels for not taking advantage of this serious flaw in training.

Anyone else surprised by the lack of security around the palace? America runs from the rebels into a nearby forest without encountering a wall or a gate or any type of obstacle that would be protecting the palace from attack. Research…it helps.

Finally realizing that I needed to move, I turned and ran without thinking.

Which is followed by a paragraph of what she thought about as she ran, including whether or not HER SHOES WERE APPROPRIATE FOR RUNNING!

I want to take this moment to tell you all about something a man caught in the Twin Towers told me. He was in the second building when the plane hit. He joined several other people who were heading down the stairs. They were all scared for their lives, trying desperately to get out. One of the things he remembered very vividly was all the women’s shoes piled up everywhere on the stairs. Thousands of them. Women running down those stairs didn’t pause for a second to consider whether those shoes were worth keeping. They chucked them without a second thought.  PRIORITIES – GET THEM!

Excuse me while I go beat my mattress with a baseball bat.

I’m better now.

America keeps running and even adds something about running for fun back home and I don’t even have the energy to rant about it because I’m still fuming about the shoes. America decides to hide behind a tree because sure, that works. She climbs a branch which just happens to give her the perfect viewpoint to witness two rebels running through the forest from the palace. One of them falls and spills a bag full of books.

Okay, so we all remember the special uber-secret books right? Apparently America doesn’t. She’s too focused on what kind of jacket the rebel girl is wearing to consider “OH, DAMN! THOSE MIGHT BE THE SECRET BOOKS!” You know, for being your average, non-materialistic girl, America sure spends a lot of time noticing clothing. You can tell that the jacket will be important later because the flower design is mentioned in great detail not once, but twice. That or America is obsessed with clothing. I’m not sure.

The girl pushed at the boy’s legs. In that playful gesture, I could see how much affection there was between them.

Playful? After you just escaped from a palace where people were shooting at you? Excuse me while I go bang my head on the desk.

The girl rebel spies America and in a “playful?” gesture curtsies to her, but doesn’t reveal her location because…reasons? Never does this deadly rebel think – “Hey kidnapping and demanding a ransom for one of the Elite would be a good idea.” Are these the minor annoyance Northern rebels and we just weren’t given the distinction? Even so, America is an Elite. The rebel recognizes her as such. An Elite who will most likely make it back to the palace and can later identify (jean jacket with flowers!) her as someone who raided the palace and threatened the lives of the royal family.  I think if I was that rebel girl I would at least capture America to keep her from going back to the palace and spilling her pretty guts about the rebels she ran into in the forest. But no, our America can’t be inconvenienced like that. She has to look for the shoes she threw away before climbing the tree.

This chapter ends with America realizing she doesn’t know the way back to the palace and I hope she never finds it. I hope she falls into a bear trap with nothing but her oh-so-precious shoes for company.

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Guest Post by: Jervin