My maids were gifts.  They didn’t ask about the puffy eyes or the tear-stained pillows.  They merely helped me pull myself together.

It never ceases to amaze me that America thinks this is a good thing.  She’s actually grateful that her maids never ask her what’s wrong or make any attempts to comfort her or help her fix the problem.  Nope, they just quietly go about hiding her distress, sweeping dirt under the rug.  For all we know, they could be instructed to do this so that no cameras find out what a pile of crock the Selection is.  But no, America’s just going to assume that they do this out of concern and affection.

For the record, if I ever wake up puffy-eyed from crying, please do ask me what’s wrong.

So she gets ready and heads down to the Only Room Women Get To Use Because Fuck Women, and there Silvia and the Queen come in with a little project for them.  They’re to arrange the reception for a few foreign guests coming next week.

And we thought this visit would be an excellent exercise for you all, especially since we’ve been so focused on diplomacy lately.

You have?  Well, that’s news to us.  The only time we’ve seen America doing any homework, she was avoiding it, and even that was only the once.  Given how much time this girl has to just sit around and mope about boys, I honestly thought they were left to their own devices. 

This honestly feels like an afterthought, like on the second draft someone came around and said “hey, shouldn’t she be doing princess stuff, too?” so a few lines about learning got shoved in.

The girls are split up, one group to organize for “the German Federation” and the other for Italy.  Well, at least they aren’t more portmanteau names.  Something tells me that if Germany tried to make an empire, though, it would not go over well in that area of the world.

America gets paired with Kriss, and they’re hosting Italy.  The girls get little guides with proper etiquette in them, then they’re released to try and put shit together in four days.  Yes, four days.  (Three days for the other group.)  Because apparently the Queen sucks at her job, too.

It makes sense to have the girls around and helping, so they can learn by doing, but you don’t take a “throw them in the deep end” approach when you’re hosting foreign diplomats, and you certainly don’t do that with a project that would stress out even an experienced hostess.  With only three and four days, if the girls fuck something up, there won’t be time to put it to rights.

What, did the queen just forget her guests were coming and say “Ugh, just toss it to the teenagers, I’ve got episodes of Gilligan’s Island to watch”?

As they get to work, America even thinks that asking for help is a sign of weakness.  On a job she’s never done before, which will be judged by diplomatic guests.  Brilliant job, Queen.

The wine, food, everything had to be opulent.  Luxury wasn’t seen as showing off; it was meant to make a statement about the palace.  If it wasn’t good enough, our guests might leave unimpressed and completely unwilling to meet with us again.

Well, at least it finally got something right.

The girls work all day and complain to each other about which group is in the worse spot.  Apparently Celeste is put off by having to do hers in “dark colors” because that’s going to make it look bad?  I thought you were into fashion, Celeste.  Does “little black dress” mean nothing to you?

The America gets a competitive mindset and is convinced that the other group is going to try and steal her ideas/sabotage her reception.  FFS, this isn’t a competition.  You both have to do well.  If they steal your ideas and those ideas are good, then awesome!  In fact, why aren’t you sharing! No one at any point said this was a competition, but America has just decided that fucking over the other team (which isn’t even the other team; they’re all on the same team) is a great quality to have.

Clearly she will make a fine and just princess.

But Kriss thinks that the “hide all our ideas” plan is a good one.

In the middle of all this, America still has time to mope about how Maxon doesn’t like her anymore.  It’s only been a few days since he was all “noooooooo, but I love you and want to marry you, don’t leave meeeeeee!” but she’s convinced he’s changed his mind.  Hey, remember the last time she did this?  I do.  IT WAS LESS THAN A WEEK AGO.

This girl has the memory of a goldfish.

Later that night, a siren wakes her up from sleep.  It’s an alarm for oncoming rebels.  Aspen runs in telling her to get her shoes on, because apparently shoes are really important right now.  Oh, and kisses.  They take time out for kisses, too.

Once those terribly important items of business are taken care of, then America runs for the secret passage that leads to a safe room.

Maxon had once told me that there were two kinds of rebels: Northern and Southern.  The Northern ones were pesky, but the Southern ones were deadly.

I still can’t get over how stupid this government has to be if they really believe that someone is breaking into the royal palace just for shits and giggles.  Rebel groups are not frat boys breaking into sorority houses on a dare. 

…Actually, given how lax the security is at this palace, maybe that is a valid hypothesis. 

America gets into the safe room, but Kriss and Elise are still missing.  America and Maxon stand in the secret passage waiting for them.  Then all of a sudden Maxon hugs her and says he’s glad she’s okay.

Elise finally shows up.

I think my maid is sick.  She was a little slow to help me.

…to help you what?  Get ready right after an alarm went off?  Why did you stop to get ready?  Why did you think that your maid was sick instead of just freaked the fuck out by the alarms going off?

You’ve been in the background until now, Elise, but that one line has set you as quite the entitled little brat.

Silvia leads them to a row of cots and tells them to get some sleep.  Because Silvia is as much an idiot as everyone else in this book.  Who sleeps after all that?  Oh, yeah, and they’re still going to go through with the reception bullshit, because why not?  If you’re going to have novices plan your diplomatic parties three days in advance, I guess it’s no more illogical to host them in a palace that’s continually being attacked.

What I can’t figure out is why people keep visiting them.  This is, what, the third attack in as many months?  You’d think the other countries would learn to stop swinging by for a visit.

Kriss finally shows up with a twisted ankle.  Silvia tells them all to sleep again, and this time America actually does it.  I wonder if the author just didn’t want to write another night in the bunker.  She wakes up once to notice Kriss and Maxon snuggling, then goes back to sleep, then wakes up again when it’s time to leave.  Riveting.