As Dorian and Nemmy go through sword lessons, Cally thinks about how he’s just so incredibly hot.  Admittedly, she also thinks he’s charming, but I’ve been in his head so I’m kind of side-eyeing that comment.  Plus, he strikes me as more of a Nice Guy.  He’s met the minimum for ‘sort of not an asshole, or at least not as much as he could be,’ and then the book acts like this is some sort of accomplishment.

‘Not an asshole’ is a starting point, not a goal.  You have to build up a personality on top of that.

Cally thinks about how she wants to kiss him, then mentions that she had a boyfriend before but he’s MIA.

Chaol walks in and gets all atwitter when he sees Dorian engaged in a dangerous sport with a diplomatic dignitary in the presence of a dangerous criminal.

While there are certainly ways to make all this alright, the book acts like anyone whose initial reaction is “ACK!” is doing that out of misogyny.  FFS, book, what part of ‘important diplomatic princess’ don’t you understand?  It’s okay for her to like to fight and want to practice, but of course people are going to worry about her getting hurt, because her getting hurt is A BIG FUCKING DEAL.

Chaol tells Cally that she has to go back to her room.

“Are you honestly so blind that you can’t see why we can’t allow this?”

“ ‘Can’t allow’—you’re just afraid of me!”

…yeah.  Duh.  You’re a criminal with several murders to your credit.

Also, SHE’S AN IMPORTANT DIPLOMATIC PAWN, even having her near a criminal like Cally could fuck shit up if her father finds out.  Cally doesn’t have to actually take her hostage, just the implication that the Aldarlanians (?) aren’t taking her safety seriously is going to be an issue.

But Cally’s such a fucking Mary Sue that she assumes everything revolves around her, everything is directed at her.  She never considers that something outside of her could be important, never thinks about how things look from the outside.  It’s either a personal insult to her, or there is no second option.

Cally throws a hissy fit.

She threw her hands in the air. “You know, I actually felt guilty. Just a little guilty. And now I remember why I shouldn’t have. I hate sitting around, locked in my room, bored out of my senses. I hate all these guards and nonsense; I hate you telling me to hold back when Brullo sings Cain’s praises and I’m just there, boring and unnoticed in the middle. I hate being told what I can’t do. And I hate you most of all!”

My god, I don’t think it’s even possible for her to sound more like a 14 year-old right now.

Next chapter, we get a Kate POV!  😀 😀 😀

Kate is hanging out in the dancing/party room, which we still don’t have any description or context for.  She runs across Duke P, and they’re quite familiar with each other.  The text takes every chance available to remind us that Duke P is ugly and icky.  They banter and make small talk while leaving the room.

Though he didn’t hide that he wanted her, he hadn’t pushed her into bed—yet. But with a man like Perrington, who always got what he wanted … she didn’t have much time to find a way to avoid owning up to the subtle promise she’d made him earlier that year.

Weird phrasing.  Does “pushed her into” mean ‘put pressure on her to do that’ or ‘literally shove and force’?  Either way, this is more the kind of stuff you expect to see with court intrigue.  Bravo, Kate!

Kate tries to pry, carefully, into the news that the queen has picked out ‘suitable’ options for Dorian to marry.  Kate doesn’t know if she’s on it, but she knows Cally isn’t.

In another bit of ‘I love Kate’ness, she lies smoothly about how nice Cally was when they met, then mentions it’s so tragic that she’s not on the list when Dorian was just talking about how smitten he is with his new “Lady Lilian.”  Presumably she hopes this will get back to the queen, so the two of them will be kept apart even more.

Duke P, who knows Cally is in fact an assassin, gets confused by all this and says it’s quite impossible for Dorian to be infatuated with her.

Later, Dorian and Chaol are chatting.  Chaol points out “yo, bro, remember she’s a fucking assassin, right?  Don’t be that alone with her.”

Dorian is wholly unconcerned with his own safety, because reasons.

“Why would she kill me? I think she likes being pampered. If she hasn’t attempted to escape or kill anyone, then why would she do it now?”

Because no one’s paid her enough yet?  She’s a fucking assassin; she gets paid to kill people.  You have an unstable father with a lot of enemies, and also a younger brother who hates being away from home and would probably like you out of the line of succession, and that’s on top of the usual things going on in a court that tend to end in assassination plots.  The worry isn’t that Cally will murder you for shits and giggles; the worry is that someone will slip her a purse of gold to cut your throat.

Dorian, instead of caring about all of this, just talks about how Chaol “liiiiiiiikes her! lol!”

Chaol gets them back on track by talking about Bill instead.  Seems when he was killed, he wasn’t just killed and done, they took all his organs, even his brain.

“I bet it was just a drunken brawl,” Dorian said, though he had been in plenty of brawls himself and had never known anyone to go about removing someone’s innards.

…if you know that’s a stupid thing to say, why did you say it?

Dorian grinned and put an arm around the captain’s shoulders. “With you looking into it, I’m sure it’ll be solved tomorrow,”

Dorian is seriously pissing me off.  He complains about being bored, but when something actually unusual comes up, he brushes it off as nothing and doesn’t care.  What the fuck, dude?

Drinking Game Count:  Epithets – 4, Exclamation Marks – 7

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