Today, we get to go see a temple service!  Yay!  Worldbuilding!

…they sit in a chapel while a choir sings and a pastor gives a sermon.  Wow, that’s some really bland worldbuilding.  There’s a few details here and there, but they have no meaning.  The priestess wears a blue robe and has a star tattoo on her forehead.  Because…???  Details like that are kind of visually cool, but if there’s no justification behind them, then they’re just set dressing, not an actual world.  Is blue significant in this world?  Why?  How does that manifest in other ways?  Are people not allowed to wear blue except for religious stuff?  Does it have any meaning, or did the priestess just like it that day?

This is basically the same kind of tone and structure as you’d get from someone writing a really bad Catholic Mass scene, just with different costumes.  Cally even falls asleep in the middle of it; it’s that boring.  And in the end, that’s all we know about this aspect of the world: it’s really frikkin boring.  Boring does not make me want to learn more about this place.

There is one cool thing at the end of the service.

Each blindfolded child was no more than ten years old, and though they looked rather foolish dressed in the costumes of the gods, there was something charming about it. Every year, nine children were chosen. If a child stopped before you, you received the blessings of the god and the small gift the child carried as a symbol of the god’s favor.

That’s kind of cool.  There’s still no context for it, but it’s kind of cool.  To be fair, not everything has to be rife with meaning and symbolism and deepness and such.  I’m sure someone sitting through a church service in America wouldn’t learn much about the culture from that; the ties between our history and the values and social structure influences of the church are not immediately apparent in a single service.  However, if that’s the only worldbuilding you’re going to bother doing?  Better make it count.

Naturally, even though Cally is busy sneering at tradition and thinking about how foolish it all is, one of the kids still stops in front of her and gives her an arrow made of gold.

Later, Philippa helps Cally get all dressed up for the ball, and much fuss is made over how pretty she is.

Celaena gave the servant a sharp look. “I told you not to ask questions.”

Oh, yeah, I really believe you feel the plight of the marginalized.

The use of an epithet in that sentence is particularly unfortunate.  Like, how dare she ask questions, did she forget that she’s a servant?

Standing before her reflection, Celaena wondered if she was seeing correctly. “This is the most beautiful dress I’ve ever worn,” she admitted, her eyes filling with light.

Speaking of not asking questions, really, where did this dress come from?  These things have to be made by hand; they take massive amounts of time, effort, skill, and money.  No one is going to leave them hanging around, and there aren’t department stores full of them somewhere to steal from.  They’re made to order, which means someone out there ordered this dress and is going to notice it missing.

They decide to get past the guards by pretending like they were invited to go there, and it works because these are the very worst guards in the entire world.  They actually believe the word of a convicted criminal – on they’re supposed to stop from escaping, no less!  They even escort her to the ballroom AND THEN LEAVE HER THERE ALONE, AMONG ALL THE SQUISHY STABABLE NOBLES. 

You are all fired.  Pack your bags, hang your heads in shame, and go home to be anything but shepherds because you’d probably fuck that up, too.

Tucked into her bodice, the makeshift knife poked her skin. She prayed to the Goddess, to every god she knew, to the Wyrd, to whatever was responsible for her fate, that she wouldn’t have to use it.

Just to remind you: the ‘knife’ is a bunch of sewing needles.  She acts like she’s going to be slitting someone’s throat with it, but all things considered, she’d be better off smashing a wine glass and using that.

Switch POVs to Dorian, so that he can report that practically everyone in the ballroom is looking at Cally.  It’s drawn right out of the movie version (any movie version) of Cinderella, everyone staring and whispering about the mysterious beautiful stranger.  Because of course she’s just so beautiful and so special that everyone needs to stop what they’re doing and pay attention to her.

Some assassin.  She should have aimed for the middle of the pack with her costume, to blend in.  But heaven forbid Cally be anything except unilaterally praised.

Before Dorian can go over there, Chaol gets to her first, which makes Dorian tetchy.

Back with Cally.  Chaol pulled her into the dancing, and they argue there.  Because, yeah, in the middle of a bunch of dancers is the perfect place to be holding this conversation.  Cally acts like all she wanted was a night out and turns the argument around into being one of trust.  ‘Why don’t you trust me?’ and all that.  High hypocrisy, coming from a girl who can’t spit out important information when it’s needed. 

Dorian lets himself get guilted into going along with her, because he is a terrible guard, too.

So Cally literally just stands in one place and watches Nemmy for a whole hour.  Yeah, because that’s not suspicious at all!  God, why didn’t you just sneak up to that spy-grate you found a few chapters back?  You could have stared all you wanted, and without people recognizing you, since every single named character from Dorian to Nox has picked you out in a second.

Finally Nemmy leaves her spot talking to the queen and comes over to say hi to Cally, then mentions she’s not feeling well and she’s leaving.  Cally decides not to follow her, because fuck logic.

No, wait, it does make sense.  The only three people she cares about (Dorian, Chaol, Nox) are still in the room, so who cares if Nemmy is the killer?  She won’t be killing real people tonight, just the nameless extras.

With Nehemia gone, she still had to keep watch

Because…reasons?

Chaol gets suspicious of the whole exchange, but Cally puts him off by changing the subject to dancing.  There is much mindless banter about dancing, and will he dance with her, and does he have a sweetheart and oh but why not he’s so cute and just really fuck it I don’t care.  Mindless Banter Scene #1290382.

Even though she was ashamed of herself for believing such awful things about Nehemia,

Oh, yeah, and Cally feels bad about suspecting Nemmy.  An hour of not doing something – while in public, mind you – is apparently enough to absolve her of any suspicion.  Now, Cally didn’t have a real good excuse for assuming she was a monster-summoning murderer, but Nemmy is still suspicious as all get-out, and she’s clearly doing something, so letting it go that quick is still a headscratcher.

Then Dorian comes up and they banter more and then dance and hopefully we can move on to some new idiocy tomorrow.

Drinking Game Count:  Epithets – 5, Exclamation Marks – 9

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