Kate ( !!! 😀 😀 😀 ) is standing in her position on the day of the duel, thinking very valid complains about how only idiots would go outside in the cold.  Frankly, she’ far more restrained than I would be standing out in the cold.  At least Kate has the good sense to keep her complaints inside her own head.

It was strange to think of this woman as an assassin, but seeing her now, all of her oddities and faults made sense.

…?

Kate drugs the wine that Cally has to drink from, and then things get underway.  Cally comes out and complains to Chaol about the cold, only for some reason now everyone agrees that it’s a terribly confusing thing.  I get complaining about it because it sucks, but it sucking is the reason to do it.  To test the competitors under strenuous conditions.  If they can’t perform out here, if they can only fight under climate-controlled conditions, why hire them?

And then there’s a lot of standing around that I think is supposed to be tense or some shit, but everyone’s just standing around looking at each other.  *yawn*

This whole “let’s list off everyone who’s watching” goes on for several pages.  I might care if only I knew why any of this was important.

Thankfully, Renault and Grave flanked her. If Cain had been standing beside her, she might have snapped his neck just to end it there.

And that would be bad because…?

I’m thinking that if you just up and kill your opponents when their guard is down, that’s a pretty good demonstration of your fitness to be an effective hitman.  On the other hand, meekly following rules does not a good assassin make.

The king lays down the rules of the duels.  No killing.  (Why?)  Tournament style elimination.  Cain and Renault go first.  Chaol and Cally talk all the way through the duel, until Cain finally wins.

She looked at the clock tower. He hadn’t lasted three minutes.

That’s actually a really long fight.  Your average street fight is going to be under 30 seconds, unless there’s multiple opponents/confusion/mob/etc.  She should be saying “wow, he lasted almost three minutes,” because that is fucking impressive, not scoffing at him.

After that incredibly long fight, Cally has to prepare for her upcoming bout.

Celaena turned to Chaol. But instead of handing her the plain-as-porridge sword she usually wielded in practice, he drew his own blade. The eagle-shaped pommel glinted in the midday sun. “Here,” he said.

Because it’s not like swords have stuff like different balance and reach and therefore you might want to be familiar with them first.

She found the rolling earthen hills of the north in his eyes.

[…]

Far inside of her, she found a golden chain that bound them together.

I had to read that, and now so do you.

Nemmy comes up to offer her a fancy staff instead.  Cally picks the staff because symbolism.  Apparently it would mean so much if an Eyllwe weapon defeated an Adarlan one.  I’d be more concerned about which one Cally is familiar with, because all the symbolism in the world won’t count for squat if she’s dead or on the run.  She could just as easily have taken a favor into the fight.

There’s a lot of talking and ‘deep, meaningful’ comments, yada, blah, talking, and then finally

Or some kind of fight at least.

Cally can handle the staff pretty well, it turns out, and she beats him in a page and then offers a pitty comment at the end to hammer in the fact that she’s too cool for school.  Everyone gathers around to tell her she’s awesome.

“Two minutes.”

She grinned at the captain. She was hardly winded.

Then it’s time to drink wine and begin the next bout, with no rest in between.  I don’t know what Cally’s complaining about since she’s “hardly winded.”

The drug she took starts setting in as the bout starts, making everything fuzzy and hazy, as planned.

Switching onto the offensive, she nimbly swept toward him.

…until she needs to be randomly nimble for a moment, apparently.

She attacked—faster and faster, stronger and stronger. Cain laughed, and she almost screamed in anger. Each time she moved a foot to trip him, each time they came too close, she either became clumsy or he stepped away, as if he knew what she planned all along.

So, faster and stronger, but also not?

What?

They go back and forth, and then Cally realizes she was drugged with bloodbane halfway through.  Because it’s not like a million different things could cause you become disoriented or anything, no, apparently just the one.  Finally Cain manages to get a really good hit in and knock her down.

This couldn’t be happening—they couldn’t have betrayed her like this.

They, who?  Who do you think betrayed you?  You already figured it was Kate that did it, is that surprising you?

Cain snaps her staff in half and dislocates her shoulder, then grabs her by the shirt and–

And we stop the action for a page of Dorian’s POV.  What the ever-loving fuck, book?  Why on earth did your editor let you do this?  No.  You never stop action like that for the sake of head-jumping and soliloquies.

And then we switch to Chaol’s POV so we can watch the end of the fight from the outside.  Really, what thought process went into this narrative choice?  Or was there a thought process at all?

Cain’s basically using her for a punching bag now, and he starts taunting her about her parents.

still clutching at her useless piece of wood.

This has been said a couple times now, but a broken staff is not actually useless.  It’s less useful, but being broken doesn’t stop you from smacking people with it.  Or, heck, even using it for defense, it can still do that.

“What was it like when you woke up between your parents, covered in their blood?”

Is this why we’re on the outside?  Because you wanted an excuse to avoid having Cally think about this and maybe actually tell us something?

Cain continues to beat the crap out of her. And then things just get weird.  She starts…seeing phantom monsters?  Weird creatures start attacking her, sorta, maybe?  And then Cain rips off her amulet and the chapter ends.

Not sure how I feel about that.  I mean, it was meant to be confusing, so kudos for confusing me.  But it came…just so out of nowhere.

Drinking Game Count:  Epithets – 6, Exclamation Marks – 5

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