It took the whole of this morning for him to convince the others of my limitations.

The book keeps insisting that she can’t speak and such in front of the cameras, but it always limits her inability to very specific circumstances.  At all other times, she’s fine.  She can charm her way through an interview (or so we’re told) and smile for cameras at just the right time in the games and convincingly fake a relationship both in the games and out on tour.  She even lies while under stress with nary a twitch.  So when the book insists that she can’t speak in front of a camera, you know it’s about to set something up.  Because the only time Katniss has trouble in front of a camera is when she’s being prompted.

Admittedly, that’s a fine problem to have.  Really.  Plenty of people are wooden when reading a script and fine otherwise.  But it’s not framed that way here, and that bothers me.  Because it’s ignoring the actual problem and instead demonizing an entire industry.  What’s basically going on here is the message that scripts are bad, that they’re fake, and fake is bad (as we’ve been told again and again in these books), and Katniss is speaking “from the heart” and that’s good.  But scripted performances are no worse than improvised ones, not inherently.  And plenty of people (like me) will get tongue-tied and stumble when asked to improve, but be perfectly able to write and deliver a speech given enough time.  We’re no less heartfelt and honest just because we can’t perform in a specific way on command.

Forget MASH for this one and got watch The King’s Speech.

It’s amazing, really, how long I have survived the cameras.

If by “amazing” you mean “not even the least bit difficult for you.”

The credit for that, of course, goes to Peeta.

Because this book is feminist, and don’t you forget it!

He looks slightly yellow and has lost a lot of weight, giving him a shrunken appearance. For a second, I’m afraid he’s dying. I have to remind myself that I don’t care.

Our hero, ladies and gents.

Also, Haymich’s physical condition is quite worrying, given how bad off he should be from that crash-course in sobriety.  And this line seems to imply that, yes, he’s suffering quite a bit.  But this never becomes an actual issue, and at every point in this process, he retains his mental faculties perfectly well.  This book really sucks at portraying how hard recovery and emotional scars are, because what makes those things so hard and so horrifying are that they actually get in the way of living your life.  They impede the things you want to do.  In this book, it reads like you’re just a little sad and out of sorts, but still function fine.

Basically, Finnik is closer to what we should be getting in terms of how trauma should be ruining your life.  The tone is there, the details are just wrong.  (Well, that, and the “magically healed by love” solution.)

So, let’s all be quiet for a minute. I want everyone to think of one incident where Katniss Everdeen genuinely moved you.

And then we spend the next several pages seriously just sitting around and talking about how awesome Katniss is.

No lie, that is all this scene is.  Talking about how awesome Katniss is.

Because heaven forbid we forget that Katniss is awesome and does awesome things.

Somewhere in my head an image surfaces of Boggs with a young boy perched up on his hip. In the dining hall, I think. Maybe he’s not a robot after all.

So far, the only thing Boggs has done: try and stop Katniss from running out of a room.  That’s it.  We have to reason to think he ever was “robotic,” but Katniss doesn’t see people as being people until given proof otherwise.

“They were Katniss’s,” says Gale quietly. “No one told her what to do or say.”

“Unscripted, yes!”

And this is basically the point of this scene, to actually put in plain words what I wrote earlier.  Scripts are bad but Katniss’s inner, innate “goodness” is what saves the day. 

And not only are scripts bad, but even the best script by the best script writer is going to be worse than Katniss making shit up.  Because, let’s face it, Plutarch and Fulvia should have been able to come up with something better; they’re at the top of their field.  But letting them do their job well and then having Katniss botch the delivery would mean that someone other than Katniss was awesome at something, and we just can’t have that.

“Every time we coach her or give her lines, the best we can hope for is okay. It has to come from her. That’s what people are responding to.”

I’m starting to see why this book thinks that all propaganda must rest on Katniss.

It’s because the book refuses to believe that any other characters could come up with something half as awesome as what she does.  It honesty says that people are only responding to what Katniss pulls out of her ass in the heat of the moment, and no one else could possible think up a scenario or speech that could be as moving, despite the fact that this is a book and the whole thing was thought up by an author.  It’s really bizarre, but the work of fiction that was entirely invented by someone sitting at a desk is arguing that works of fiction entirely invented behind a desk aren’t emotionally moving.

I mean, it wants to just say Katniss is awesome, but that’s what it said by accident.

At least when MASH pulls this off, it’s usually saying that off-the-cuff stuff is better because it feels genuine to the person.  Radar, for example, takes a correspondence course in writing, with hilarious results because he keeps trying to put purple prose in the daily reports.  But no one tells him to stop writing, they just tell him to do it in his own voice.  (And also it’s made clear that this is a “school” he found in the back of a comic book and not to be taken as representative of all writing endeavors.)  His off-cuff speech at the end about friendship is rambling, awkward, and simply-put, but it’s so thoroughly Radar that his message comes through, because he’s not trying to fluff things up and sound like someone other than himself.  That’s a fine message to send, but it’s also a lot more inclusive than this book, because it doesn’t imply that the other characters aren’t great story-tellers, too. (Season 5, Ep 15 “The Most Unforgettable Characters”)

Also, it works a lot better because it’s on a personal level.  If Radar told Hawkeye’s story to a stranger, there would be no problems, because it’s a funny story.  It’s only when you know him and his sense of humor that it sounds awkward.  No one knows Katniss outside of a few grandiose moments; they’re not following more than the most basic outline of her personality, so there should be plenty of room in there for scripted moments that sound inspiring.

 “But let’s take it one step at a time. Find the least dangerous situation that can evoke some spontaneity in you.”

And so they decide to send her into combat, but not real combat, carefully controlled combat.

I just…it’s hard to really explain to you how insulting this is to anyone who has actually been in. 

When I was in Iraq, we were in a base that was smack-dab in the middle of a city.  We had car bombs going off outside the walls all the time.  So there were these three fuckers, total fobbits, who were on the way to the chow hall one day and a bomb went off outside the gate.  They had to stop and assess if there was any danger inside the base, wait for MPs to give the all clear, and then they went on and ate fucking cake or something because that base had a pretty good chow hall.  BUT those total fuckers tried to put in for a Combat Action Badge based on the incident, claiming they’d been “involved” in an “incident.”

This book is like those fuckers.

Everyone hates those guys because combat is a big fucking deal.  It’s brutal and horrifying and intense and we do it anyway because it’s necessary.  Because not doing it means your brothers and sisters are out there alone, and you have to help them, it’s your duty.  You have to go in, you have to face that pain and danger, not for the sake of anything except the people you’re trying to help it is not a matter of glory or having a good story or a sweeping PR piece, it’s about your duty, it’s about getting shit done, it’s about having your buddy’s back and both of you going home.

And then fuckers like those fobbits and this book come along and turn all of that into a god damn fucking PR bid and I want to rip their faces off.

I get having to fake it for the sake of storytelling, but that’s not what’s going on here.  They’re not saying “we need to recreate this scenario because we weren’t there to get it at the time and the story needs to be told.”  No, they’re saying “hey, battles are pretty cool, right?  Let’s fake one so people will think we’re cool, too.”

And having said that I want to make it clear that I was only ever on the edge of combat, and thank god I never had to kill anyone, and even still if you try and fake that shit and I find you I will rip off parts you care about.

If she were actually going to go fight because that’s what she needed to do and they happened to have cameras around, that’s fine.  Media people get embedded with combat units all the time, and they’ve produced some really, really impressive stuff and they’ve done some really impressive stuff.  But no, that’s not what’s going on, Katniss isn’t going into the suck, she’s just co-opting a battlefield to use as her sound stage.

“Wash her face,” says Dalton. Everyone turns to him. “She’s still a girl and you made her look thirty-five. Feels wrong. Like something the Capitol would do.”

D13 = Capitol \~/

“We’re still in the game.” I try to say this with optimism, but my voice cracks.

…no, you’re not.  You’re in a war.  And as much as the games suck, its’ true, it’s not the same at all, and I’m sick of the book treating it like it is.

Because, you see, the games are very me-centric and also have a definite end.  The games are about throwing everyone else under the bus and making short-term goals, whereas a war is about being others-centric and keeping a movement going even if it has to go on after you die. 

But the book doesn’t seem to realize this. It continues to paint everything as revolving around Katniss, even to the point of saying everything fails if she dies.  Because it thinks that the games and the war are the same, when really all they have in common is “this sucks and people die.”

Coal mining sucks and kills people, but that’s not a war, either.

“When you’re on the ground, remember I’m airborne. I’ll have the better view, so do what I tell you.”

“We’ll see,” I answer.

Fuck you and your self-centeredness, Katniss.

I return to the Remake Room and watch the streaks of makeup disappear down the drain as I scrub my face clean.

Since I’ll be in a combat zone, Beetee helps me with armor Cinna designed. A helmet of some interwoven metal that fits close to my head. The material’s supple, like fabric, and can be drawn back like a hood in case I don’t want it up full-time. A vest to reinforce the protection over my vital organs. A small white earpiece that attaches to my collar by a wire. Beetee secures a mask to my belt that I don’t have to wear unless there’s a gas attack.

So…all those other fighters, the ones that are actually fighting, the ones that aren’t getting their posts cherry-picked for safety and don’t have a dozen airships to watch out for them?  How many of them had to go without protection so that you could afford your snazzy suit that you don’t even need?

\~/

At the word trident, it’s as if the old Finnick surfaces. “Really? What’s it do?”

Because it may be a weapon that he used to kill people in an arena where other people were trying to kill him, and supposedly that gave him soooo much trauma, but he’s still going to react to it like it’s a fucking toy.

Then he whips off his hospital gown, leaving him in just his underwear. “Why? Do you find this”— he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose —“distracting?”

I can’t help laughing because it’s funny

When Johanna did this last book, you called her a bitch and got uncomfortable.  So guys can be comfortable with their sexuality, but girls can’t?

And the implication that having a stabby-stabber is all it takes to “fix” Finnik is pretty gross.  But I’ll take it, because the other implication is that he’s still in it in a bad way, and this whole nude display is being done while in the middle of a mental breakdown, but Katniss thinks it’s funny.

He’s spoken out twice today in ways that make me think he would rather be friends than enemies. Maybe I should give him a chance. But he just seems so in step with Coin… .

Oh my god, it’s almost like he’s a person and is capable of being complex and having nuanced views!  Or maybe it’s like COIN ISN’T THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.

“We basically inherited the place. It’s been all we can do to keep it running.”

[…]

“Some [of the aircraft] we manufactured. Some were part of the Capitol’s air force. They’ve been updated, of course,”

So it’s all you can do just to keep the massive infrastructure running, but also you’ve got enough time and manpower to stay up-to-day on aircraft technology and build new ones?

“Well, don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.

She has no idea what his ideals or methods are, and he’s “lock-step” with a woman who apparently chains people up just to make Katniss fell uncomfortable, but he also makes jokes, and that’s all that matters?

In fact, I know very little about the actual state of the war. Or what it would take to win it.

The level of disinterest Katniss has in her surroundings is truly astounding.  This girl doesn’t care about anything unless it is immediately connected to her.

“You mean … some of the Peacekeepers are born in Two?” I ask. “I thought they all came from the Capitol.”

THE CAPITOL HAS A DISTINCTIVE ACCENT THAT YOU MOCK ALL THE TIME, HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT YOUR PEACEKEEPERS DON’T COME FROM THERE?

A twenty-year commitment to the Peacekeepers, no marriage, no children allowed.

Holy fuck, maybe you’d get more volunteers if your terms weren’t so brain-fuckingly stupid.

There’s not even any reason for this.  Logically, there’s no excuse for it, and in the book, there’s no further comment on the subject, so there’s no reason they couldn’t have short tours and keep families back in the capitol.  Why can’t they have, say, a ten year commitment, do one or two year tours out to a district, and then come back home to get a dose of the good life so that they remain bribed into following the party line?  Giving them no ties back to the capitol and no chance for relief means they have all that more incentive to “go native” and identify with the people they live with: aka, the districts. 

You don’t want your people with guns identifying with your enemy.  That’s counter-productive.

And since the book just leaves that hanging there, I have no choice but to think that it was put in just for the sake of excusing why the peacekeepers don’t come from the capitol.  Which is stupid, because you could just say “they don’t come from the capitol” and avoid the whole mess.

Many people are swamped in debt in the Capitol,

It’s like the people in charge where deliberately setting themselves up to be overthrown.

If you’re an evil despot, you should not give literally every demographic in the country a reason to want to guillotine your face.

They get more food and better living conditions.

[…]

It’s a way for their people to escape poverty and a life in the quarries.

THESE LINES ARE LESS THAN A PAGE APART, GOD, JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF BOOK WERE YOU EVEN EDITED AT ALL WERE YOU WRITTEN ON COCKTAIL NAPKINS AND THEN STITCHED TOGETHER WHAT EVEN IS GOING ON?

“In history books,” says Plutarch. “And if our ancestors could do [democracy], then we can, too.”

…except, apparently they couldn’t do it, since it failed.

deep violet pills into his hand, and holds them out to us. “We named them nightlock in your honor, Katniss.

Because cyanide wasn’t cool enough.

This book just gets so self-congratulatory over stuff at times.  It’ll create something, like games or “girl on fire” or this stupid nightlock, and then repeat it over and over and over as if it’s just so awesome that nothing else is needed, even when there’s a preexisting alternative.

Episode of M*A*S*H you should watch instead: Iron Guts Kelly