“You will. Just let them see you. That will do more for them than any doctor in the world could.”

Ah, we’ve reached this chapter.

The chapter where Katniss does more good with her mere presence than pain killers and laughing gas combined.  Because she’s just that flipping awesome. 

Go ahead.  Let’s start this chapter out right.  |~|

Her dark brown eyes are puffy with fatigue and she smells of metal and sweat. A bandage around her throat needed changing about three days ago. The strap of the automatic weapon slung across her back digs into her neck and she shifts her shoulder to reposition it.

[…]

Beside her, in my spanking-new outfit, scrubbed and shiny, I feel like a recently hatched chick, untested and only just learning how to navigate the world.

Note the complete lack of self-awareness in Katniss’s narration.  She sees this woman who has been working her ass off, this woman who has so little time and so little help and so little resources that she can’t even change a bandage on herself, standing next to Katniss, who has been napping for the past month and only offered to help at all if her demands were met.  Next to Katniss, who has a team of people giving her whatever she wants and whose uniform is so outlandish that it could probably pay for medical supplies for a dozen people.  And Katniss’s only thought in all this is “maybe when I grow up I’ll be like her.”  She has not a single second thought about her actions, and how much she’s demanding vs how little she’s giving.

This right here is everything I hate about Katniss in a nutshell.

Am I wrong or is there a note of accusation in her voice?

I would like to believe that Katniss is wrong and there’s really a seething ocean of accusation in Paylor’s voice.

“You’re alive, then. We weren’t sure.” […]

“I’m still not sure myself,” I answer.

YOU ARE LITTERALLY STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWD OF PEPLE MISSING LIMBS AND DRAGGING THEIR MOSTLY-DEAD FRIENDS TO THE HOSPITAL, WOULD YOU PLEASE FUCK OFF WITH YOUR SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE HIPSTER CRAP, YOUR PAIN IS NOT SPECIAL AND UNIQUE, YOU ARE LITERALLY SURROUNDED BY LITERAL DEATH SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR METIPHORICAL BULLSHIT.

“You think this is a good idea?” says Gale, frowning at the hospital. “Assembling your wounded like this?”

I don’t. Any sort of contagious disease would spread through this place like wildfire.

“I think it’s slightly better than leaving them to die,” says Paylor.

“That’s not what I meant,” Gale tells her.

“Well, currently that’s my other option. But if you come up with a third and get Coin to back it, I’m all ears.”

I like you, Paylor.  You’re too good for this book.  You and Johanna should go have your own story.

Because, really, what was Gale’s point right there?  Was it just to show off that the characters know what contagion is?

“Katniss?” a voice croaks out from my left, breaking apart from the general din. “Katniss?” A hand reaches for me out of the haze. I cling to it for support.

I can’t quote the rest of this scene.  It drives me into such a rage.  The way everyone fucking trips over themselves to genuflect over her, even though they’re deathly ill and she’s just some bratty celebrity…

What especially grinds my gears here is how much this shows off how protagonist-centered this book is.  How much Katniss really is the center of the entire universe in this novel.  She shows up, and she’s all anyone cares about, even though she really shouldn’t be.  I mean, really think about this from the view of one of those injured people.

Katniss is a celebrity.  She’s distant.  She’s mysterious.  She’s had no interaction with her “fans,” and she’s had no interaction with the rebellion that she supposedly started.  That last point is a big one, but it’s true.  For all people going on about how she’s the “spark” and all that, she’s never publically acknowledged or interacted with the rebellion movement.  She’s never spoken to the people, not even in insinuations.  She’s been entirely self-contained, entirely focused on her own self and her own story.

Now, we still care, because we’re reading a book.  But everyone here is reacting as if they’re reading her book.  They’re reacting as if she’s a character that they’ve spent intimate amounts of time with, that they’ve gotten to know and love, that has taken a central part in the only story worth paying attention to.  When, really, she should be a peripheral concern compared to the fucking war that Katniss was so busy ignoring.  None of these people are reacting as if they have their own stories; they’re reacting as if they all know Katniss is the center of attention, and they’re just so grateful that she’s around to give them page-time.  They have no reason to be this invested, because up to this point, they should have much more compelling and personal stories and experiences on their minds.  She is, at best, a mere symbol.

Compare this to M*A*S*H.  The 4077 had plenty of visitors to the hospital.  My favorite is when they had a USO group come through.  A young woman traveling on the tour got ill, so they made an unscheduled stop at the hospital to get her treatment, and while there, the group put on a show.  Yes, they’re raising morale by visiting.  But they’re also fucking doing stuff.  They’re valued  because they provide a service, not because their mere presence is seen as healing.  (Season 10 “That’s Show Biz”)

Another time they had a famous war correspondent come through, and she caused a big ruckus and garnered a lot of attention.  But she was famous for getting down in there with the troops and people had a lot of personal stories about her, so they felt connected to her.  She’s open and honest and communicative and that’s what made her a compelling figure, and also she was actually fucking doing stuff that wasn’t focused on herself.  And even then she didn’t cause as much of a stir as Katniss “Better Than Medicine” Everdeen. (Season 8, Episode 23, “War Co-Respondent”)

Another time, wounded Royal Army troops got a visit from their commanding officer, who decided to boost spirits by yelling at everyone.  (It makes sense, I swear.)  The second time he comes through, it’s to hand out letters from home and make personal visits to each of his men.  He lifts their spirits because he’s personal, because those men know him and know that he cares and they have actual connections to him.  And the scene at the end where he describes how much he loves and cares for each individual person, and how he knows them and knows what they need, is so heartwarming. (Season 6 “Tea and Empathy”)

Katniss, on the other hand, just figures she can show up and exist and that’ll be awesome. She’s basically Colonel Lacey, a hotheaded officer who takes brash risks and gets people injured for stupid reasons, costing people’s lives to satisfy personal pride and objectives.  Colonel Lacey shows up in the recovery ward to visit his men, too, and he’s all grandiose bluster, but none of it is personal.  None of it is honest concern.  He just figures he can show up and be awesome, because he’s so awesome.  His men are actively hostile to this, however, because they know better.  (Season 7 “Preventative Medicine”)

Hungry fingers devour me, wanting to feel my flesh. As a stricken man clutches my face between his hands

*chugs*  Sorry, I just got a flashback from Sunday school, and all the times Jesus would walk through a crowd and people would strain just to touch a corner of his cloak so they could be healed.  |~|

Despite his controversial interview with Caesar, many ask about Peeta, assure me that they know he was speaking under duress.

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT NEEDING PARDONS?

I want to come clean and tell one weeping woman that it was all a hoax, a move in the game, but to present Peeta as a liar now would not help his image. Or mine. Or the cause.

While we’re off watching shows that are better than this book, check out Firefly, specifically the episode called Jaynestown.  Not only does it have the catchiest song ever, but when they talk about this subject, it’s central and extremely emotional, not just a throwaway line in the middle of Katniss’s Jesus-walk.

I begin to fully understand the lengths to which people have gone to protect me. What I mean to the rebels. My ongoing struggle against the Capitol, which has so often felt like a solitary journey, has not been undertaken alone.

THIS.  THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS PROTAGONIST CENTERED MORALITY RIGHT HERE.  THIS IS KATNISS BEING THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.

IT IS NOT YOUR STRUGGLE, KATNISS.  THEY ARE NOT DOING IT FOR YOU.  THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR THEIR OWN LIVES AND THEIR OWN FREEDOM.  IT IS NOT AND SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT YOU.  NO ONE IS TRYING TO SAVE YOU.  IT IS NOT! ABOUT! YOU!

THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU, KATNISS.

“Well, you’re not perfect by a long shot. But times being what they are, you’ll have to do,” says Boggs.

This would be a lot more effective if she hadn’t left the hospital while crowds of people chanted her name.

low-flying V-shaped formation of Capitol hoverplanes appears above us, and the bombs begin to fall.

There is a minimum altitude that planes must fly at in order to drop bombs, because if they’re below that then the shockwave from the bomb will fuck up their planes.  And that’s minimum.  What people shoot for is maximum because that’s the whole point of bombs.  The entire purpose behind why there invented was to let people blow shit up from very far away, because if you are very far away, the enemy can’t see you coming and can’t fire back.  Currently, right now, we have some extremely precise bombs that can be dropped from over 25,000 feet.  In the magi-tech world of hovering aircraft and genetically engineered bee-wasps, bomber should have gotten higher, not lower.

Fail on understanding tactics, book.  \~/

Fortunately, I have on shoes that Cinna designed. They grip the asphalt on contact and spring free of it on release. I’d be hopeless in that ill-fitting pair that 13 assigned to me.

…you have…sticky shoes?

Were you really concerned that people wouldn’t understand running unless you explain your special shoes, or do you just want to make really, really sure that everyone knows Katniss has the best of everything, whether she needs it or not?  \~/

Or was this just another pot-shot at D13? \~/

This time it’s Gale who throws himself over me to provide one more layer of protection from the bombing.

I get that they’re doing this because she’s symbolic and as such her life is (in some ways) more valuable to the overarching mission.

But she could at least feel bad that people are doing this instead of off-hand mentioning it as if it’s her due. \~/

“No, they’ve targeted something else,” says Gale.

“I know, but there’s nothing back there but —” The realization hits us at the same time.

“The hospital.” Instantly, Gale’s up and shouting to the others. “They’re targeting the hospital!”

There’s a story out of WWII that says Russian soldiers were instructed to take disabling shots whenever they could over killing shots.  If you kill a man, you’ve only taken one enemy out of the fight.  If you injure a man, you’ve taken out him and both of the buddies needed to carry him back to the aid station.

In short, no one targets a hospital like the one we just saw.  Maybe if they were a functional hospital and going to be putting soldiers back out into the fight, but this place was basically the waiting room to a morgue.  AND it was tying up the few healthy people around and a bunch of resources.  Why waste bombs when all you’re doing is making dead people deader and helping D13 save on their medical supplies?  Fail at tactics again, book.  \~/

“Yes, we’ve got our bows.” I hold mine up, then realize how decorative it must seem. “It’s more deadly than it looks.”

“It would have to be,” says Paylor.

Yup.  It’s official.  We need the Paylor/Johanna spinoff series.

They have to drop their sight shields before they release the bombs.

Because….

…

…anything, book?  Anything at all?  Why on earth would you build a ship where the invisibility is connected to the bomb-dropping?  Those two functions don’t logically have anything to do with each other, so why are they connected?

Do I even need to cover how stupid it is to shoot arrows at a plane?  I mean, do I even?  I know they’re incendiary arrows and all that, but…what, are these planes made of plywood?  She takes down an entire plan with a single arrow.

Every single thing about this scenario is so ridiculous that I just can’t even.  The planes should not be this low, they should not be this visible, and they should not be this fragile.  It is painfully obvious that all tactics, logic, and common sense have been thrown out the window for the sake of making Katniss’s bow still relevant in a situation where that damn thing should be obsolete.  \~/

I mean, the explosive arrows they use next are somewhat better than just plain old fire, but that still relies on the planes being ridiculously low and slow.

one of the insects

And by “insect” she means “person,” but Katniss can’t be arsed to remember that people are actually people.

But I already know what they will find. If the crushing debris and the flames didn’t get them, the smoke did.

How convenient that you get to engage in only the “glory” parts of battle, only the shooting down of planes with cinematically-grand shots and receiving the adulation of plebes. 

This is another reason to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate those fuckers to lie about going into combat and try and piggyback the glory from it.  Combat is messy and disgusting and filthy and horrifying.  If you’re not getting down there in the blood and the sweat and the muck and doing every last damn thing within your power to help people, then shut up and go home.

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, but it does mean you can’t brag about shit you didn’t earn.

“Why would they do that? Why would they target people who were already dying?” I ask him.

“Scare others off. Prevent the wounded from seeking help,”

…but if they’re not getting help, then that means more manpower is freed up to go fight elsewhere.

“Those people you met, they were expendable. To Snow, anyway.

Says the book that used them for cheap glory a few scenes ago and then didn’t even try to go see if there were any survivors.

“This is what they do! And we must fight back!”

This is also why you don’t bomb hospitals.  \~/

But, for once, Katniss makes a pretty good little speech.

“Fire is catching!” I am shouting now, determined that he will not miss a word. “And if we burn, you burn with us!”

Before she belabors the point and ruins it.  Ugh, no, you were better when you were actually making points and not saying stuff just for the sake of making it a catchphrase.

Episode of MASH you should be watching: Preventative Medicine