“Fix my wrist for me.”

[…]

“Put a song on for me,”

I really don’t understand the appeal of these two characters/their ‘relationship.’  Not because he of any personality flaw on his end, but because as far as I can tell he has no personality.  All of the dialogue between them reads like this.  Very short, clipped sentences that are devoid of emotion or nuance.  They don’t really talk, they just say things, very vague small-talk-ish things, or employer-to-employee things, while 90% (literally) of the text is Brooke flailing about how hot he is and how her ‘sex muscles’ keep clenching.  There is almost zero actual interaction between the two.  Remy could be replaced with a gif and there wouldn’t be any change, because the whole thing is just Brooke looking at him and then going fangirl-squeals.

The most they’ve done together (if we’re going the non-talking route) is share some songs, go running (during which really nothing happened), and dance that one time.  Damn, even by post-Twilight standards, this is really flimsy.

I search for a really fun older song I recently heard revived in an episode of Glee, called “Anyway You Want It,” by Journey, and I pass it over to him.

…cause, it’s not like that’s a really popular song played in a lot of shows or nothing.  “I bet no one’s heard of this before!  I must explain how I know about it!”

Brooke keeps playing “seriously, let’s fuck, I don’t know how many more innuendoes I can put in this chorus” songs for him, and then FINALLY he outright asks if she wants sex and she says yes.  GOD ABOUT TIME WHAT WAS THE HOLD UP?

tonight after the first Miami fight

You guys are travelling on a fight night?  Is there any end to the things this book can fuck up?

he keeps making sexual foreplay to my ear

They get to the hotel and Brooke ends up staying in Remy’s room, which makes everyone else…try to console her?

Riley comes over and looks at me with all openness, patting my shoulder like I’m going to war. “He’s trying the hardest I’ve ever seen him try for you, B.”

…try what?

But even though he’s so strong, I know instinctively that he’d never hurt me

…

……

………

She also mentions that Remy has a bad reputation with women, which, would be nice to have heard about this before right fucking now.  And also to maybe hear a few more details beyond ‘bad reputation.’  This book has spent thousands of words telling me about Remy’s sweaty muscles, but we actually know very little about him.

Then she gets a text from Melanie and after a few exchanges she says she thinks she’s falling in love with Remy.  Because…you know, they just have so much in common. \~/

We thankfully get to skip over another lust-infused description of fighting and go straight to the after party that spontaneously happened in Remy’s hotel room.  It’s not even a fun party.  Brooke just stands around in the middle of it commenting on how many people are there.  Um…exciting?

Then Remy comes in amongst much cheering and publically makes out with Brooke because sure why not.

“You’re mine tonight.”

[…]

“Tonight you’re mine.”

I know 4 year olds with a better vocabulary than this guy.

“Remy, I want you, take me!” a woman shouts, but he ignores her

Because how can we possibly know that the leading man is sexy unless every woman in the vicinity is literally begging for sex from him?  I mean, the pages and pages and pages of Brooke going on about her vaginal secretions just isn’t enough!

Fuck, it’s been three pages of them just standing there and kissing while people shout encouragement.  What was the point of bringing in an audience for this, again?

After a while they finally part ways long enough to get some shots and then they drink while still making out and I can’t tell you how bored I am. Maybe it’s the writing that can’t seem to convey a sense of anything besides lust.  Maybe it’s the lack of personality from the characters.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’m just going into the scene annoyed.  I don’t object to the idea of the scene, of a wild out-of-control hotel room party.  Not my gig, but I’d read about it.  But this one is just too clichéd to do it for me.  Besides, all it bothers to include is shots, kissing, and people cheering over Remy.  Yeah, book, we get it, you love that guy and you’re making every bit character genuflect over his awesomeness, next!

While Remy’s off getting more shots, Brooke goes to toss cookies in the bathroom because she’s too drunk to deal with it, and while there she passes out.  I think she’s had all of four shots.  I can believe getting drunk off four shots, easily, but passing out drunk?  Bit of a stretch. 

When she wakes up, Remy is literally throwing a fit because he can’t find her.  And also throwing stuff around the hotel room, screaming, breaking everything in sight, and scaring away all the guests.

For the record, violence against inanimate objects is not an “acceptable” form of violence in a book like this.  Too many books seem to think that as long as a person isn’t being hit, it’s not domestic abuse.  Violence of this sort does three things: it creates a dangerous and fearful environment, it has the potential of breaking items valuable to the victim, and it establishes a pattern of violent behavior.  Throwing things is scary, and scaring your domestic partner is A FORM OF EMOTIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE AND NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES OKAY.  Even if a person is never physically struck, throwing things at or near them is still abuse.  Breaking something important to a person is abuse.  And finally, punching things when you get angry establishes a habit of violence.  You aren’t “letting out” your anger, because anger is not a physical thing that needs to escape you.  What you’re doing is ensuring that your first response to stress and frustration is punching, and also you’re producing adrenaline and endorphins that reinforce the subconscious “hitting things is good” connection.  A person who hits inanimate things when angry is vastly more likely to hit animate things in the heat of the moment, and also they’re more likely to b flat-out unable to deal with stress in situations where punching stuff doesn’t work.

In short, if you want to show someone as having anger issues but avoid domestic abuse, DON’T DO THIS RIGHT HERE.  Also, the best way to deal with anger is to disrupt your thought process with a different activity, like meditation or a relaxing hobby.  (Well, in the short run at least, the best way long-run is to identify your triggers and either deal with the root issue or develop coping techniques.)

What you SHOULD NOT DO is run out and find three hookers to throw at the Asgardian god who can punch out three different guys WHILE HE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF A VIOLENT FIT, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS BOOK, REALLY, DO I NEED TO PULL UP THE STATISTICS ABOUT VIOLENCE AGAINST PROSTITUTES NOW BECAUSE THIS IS SOME REALLY FUCKING FUCKED UP SHIT YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE A GROUP OF PEOPLE IN WHICH 83% EIGHTY-THREE FUCKING PERCENT OF THEM HAVE BEEN PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED AND TELL THEM TO GO FUCK THE GUY WHO IS CURRENTLY PUNCHING A WALL ARE YOU FUCKING I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING ARE BUT YOU SURE AS FUCKING SHIT AREN’T WORTH ANYTHING GOD JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF LOOK AT YOURSELF AND BE ASHAMED GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

But, yeah, Pete shoots Remy with some sort of tranquilizer drug, explains to Brooke that he gets this way some times, and then says he’s going to order up a few hookers so that Remy can “work it out of his system” because fuck this book.

When three women show up, Brooke’s only thought is that they’re pretty and she’s jealous, not that Remy is as likely to hurt them as not.  Fuck it, I don’t care, I’ll take it, because at least she pays the women before sending them away.  I’ll take doing good for shitty reasons over not doing good at all.

Brooke says that they are not allowed to order up any more hookers for Remy because…she said so.

They think I want to fuck Remington, and that I think he truly wants me. And maybe I do.

Didn’t we just go through a whole chapter about how you two totally agreed already that you want to screw each other?  Where did this confusion come from?

“I’m not drunk now,” I state to the men when they only keep staring at me.

You were passed out with drunkenness a mere 15 minutes ago.  That is physically not possible.  Again.

The other guys leave after telling her not to go into Remy’s bedroom, because once the sedative wears off he could get violent again.  Oh, so, fine to send hookers into that, but heaven forbid Brooke gets hurt.

I’m so crazy about this man, I just want to eat him up with a spoon

Yeah, you can just feel the love, can’t you?

I understand the protocol of working “off” some extra energy. Athletes compete better with sex beforehand in many proven cases.

The same concept does not carry over into ‘violent rages.’  Why would anyone think that?

Brooke goes in to see Remy anyway and sits around thinking about how much she still likes him in spite of his fit, making excuses for it, dismissing it as him just snapping after all the ‘sexual tension’ between them the past few weeks.

On the one hand, I kind of want to be forgiving, because for all she knows this is an isolated incident.  On the other hand, isolated incident or not, a fit that bad is still a huge neon warning sign.

I just know he would never hurt me.

You also ‘knew’ he was just a sweetheart before he started throwing glass bottles against the wall, so maybe you’re wrong this time, too, ever think of that?

She decides to crawl into bed with him while he’s still asleep.

His nakedness in the moonlight makes me wet in the mouth

She spends several pages describing his naked hotness to us (I guess just in case we were worried that the loss of his shorts would render him ugly), then falls asleep.

The next day Remy is MIA (which the other guys assure her is normal) so Brooke has the day off.  She calls her folks for about half a page before hanging up on them in a rush.

They’re nosy and opinionated and they naturally get on my nerves.

…all your mom did was ask if you went to a specific restaurant and mention getting a post card from your sister.  Dafuq is so bad about that?

Instead of seeing this nosy and opinionated quality, we’re told all about her parental issues in summary form directly after a perfectly cordial conversation.

This is why showing is important.  Because if you tell me someone is a bitch but all they do is act nice, I’m going to assume you’re the liar.  Now, this can be used to effect.  Mean Girls did it with Janis and Regina, where Janis insisted again and again and again that Regina was the devil but Regina was nothing but kind.  While this was a disconnect at first, it was supposed to be, because it underscored Regina’s ability to put on such a good front, and it was also part of Janis’s frustration.  She knew the truth but no one would listen to her!  (Granted, this only worked because Janis and Regina had history, none of that “I just knew from the very start” bullshit.)

(Also, Mean Girls will rule forever.)

Then Brooke randomly runs across Diane so they can go have lunch and talk about Remy.  Well, that parents thing sure went nowhere, didn’t it?  Even the lunch only lasts for a page before they part ways and head for the hotel.  I guess this is the “check things off a list” chapter like we got with 50 Shades. \~/

Brooke, even after hearing that this is a frequent occurrence with Remy, still insists on sharing a suit with him because she just can’t leave him.  You know, because of their deep, soulful connection that’s based on…eyeball fucking.

Remy comes out and declares that he wants to unconscious-type sleep with her, so they go to bed and we get a page long description of snuggling.

Can’t he control himself? Why did they react like this? Does he have a problem with violence and unresolved anger issues? Who the fuck hurt him?

While these are valid questions, they are not questions you should be asking WHILE IN BED WITH THE MAN.

There is a difference between being understanding and lenient to people with certain issues and enabling them.  There’s also a difference between caring for someone and putting your own health at risk.

Not that this book cares; it can’t even bother to notice that it tried to send sex workers to fucking a violent man while simultaneously warning another woman that he was too dangerous.  Fuck it; this book can’t get anatomy right. 

Oh, and also there’s lots of kissing.  The book insists that it’s really hot kissing, but

When I’m sure I’ve tasted blood from either his lips or mine or both,