THE REPORT WAS LACKING MATERIAL following what the public would see as a rather uneventful week. After the brief updates from the king on his visit to France, the floor was turned over to Gavril, who was now interviewing the remaining Elite in a casual manner about things that didn’t seem to matter at this point in the competition.

I…I just…I can’t even.

I just can’t even.

This book is literally claiming that there’s not enough news from an entire country to fill up one hour a week.  How is this even a thing?  How can you not find enough stuff to talk for one hour about your country?  Grade school kids doing ‘Why I Love My Country’ reports are better than this.  How does this…just…how?  Why?  What?

They go on to interview the girls about inane things, and I guess the point (in a meta sense) is to provide an excuse for why they’re doing this.  But…the book was sold to people on the premise of being like a reality show.  Why do they need an excuse?  Why can’t they just do this shit on purpose?

Halfway through the interviews, the king gets some rebel news and…decides to spontaneously announce it without fact checking or consulting or doing really any sort of analysis?  Whatever, the rebels are so pissed off that they’re attacking people who are in the same castes as the girls as a form of protest.  They’re starting with Twos and working down to the Fives.  (What, after they kill all theTwos?  After they meet some quota?  After a time period?)  They’re doing this because their demands that the Selection end haven’t been heard, so they hope the rest of the country will start demanding it as well, I guess.

(What do the rebels do the rest of the time if this is their first foray into attacking people?  Do they really keep 100% of their activities restricted to throwing bricks at the palace?)

(These are the worst rebels ever.)

(Still better than that August dude, though.)

Gavril asks the girls for advice because…reasons.  The others do the whole ‘stay in, be careful’ thing and America says to fight back against them because the rebels are bullies.

Maxon comes by her room later to, once again, express awe for her doing something rather average.

“I can’t believe you told them to fight.”

I shrugged. “It seems like we do a whole lot of cowering.”

No you don’t.  You throw parties on the back lawn and remember safety concerns only when it’s convenient to the drama.  And that’s you guys at the palace.  We have exactly zero information on how much cowering anyone else has suffered, but by implication…it’s also been none.  If the idea of rebels attacking normal people is shocking, then it stands to reason they haven’t been attacking them before.

“You’re absolutely right. And I don’t know if that will scare the rebels off or make them more determined, but there’s no doubt you changed the game.”

…

… …

Right, because absolutely no one would have resisted being murdered by rebels if America didn’t bring it up.  We humans are just so known for shrugged and falling over when people attack us.

Oh, wait, Maxon wasn’t talking about that, he was just thinking about what a great PR piece her comment was in their ‘make the public like her the most’ ploy.

You have really shitty priorities, Maxon.

They decide to be shmoopy again.  Because there’s nothing that’ll rekindle a romance faster than 8 dead people and the threat of many more.

The next day America talks on the phone to her dad, but it’s just to gush about how nice and comfortable she feels around Maxon.  Oh, hey, sorry your life is in danger family, but this guy is really really nice, okay?

Once we were alone, Maxon walked over to me and laced his fingers through mine. “I’d ask what you want to do today, but our options are pretty limited. No archery, no hunting, no riding, no anything outside.”

I sighed. “Not even if we took a slew of guards?”

 “I’m sorry, America.” He gave me a sad smile. “But what about a movie? We can watch something with spectacular scenery.”

 “It’s not the same.” I pulled on his arm. “Come on. Let’s go make the best of it.”

Yes, how HARD it must be for you to go to your own private in-house movie theater.  How DIFFICULT your life must be.  Jee, I really hope they can MAKE THE BEST of it, in their PRIVATE MOVIE THEATER.

And since when have we had any indication that America likes archery?  Or knows how to ride a horse?

Any why are those your go-to outdoor options?  This isn’t the 1700s.  What about playing tennis or going swimming?

It starts raining and America mentions liking rain and wishing she could be out in it.  Maxon takes her by a secret passage up to the roof.

You know, if they’re so big on outdoor stuff, why don’t they make more use of this space?  The rebels are armed with bricks, I think the roof is safe.  But oh don’t tell these two, they like to think they’re doing something dangerous.

“I don’t know how bad the death toll is, but I can tell that my father is keeping it a secret from me. He’s afraid I’ll call off the Selection.”

You know, you could end it by just picking someone.

They start telling each other random things.  It’s super random and each thing is like two lines long.  …moving on.

your father’s been saying things to me. He also took away the payments for my family. […]

“I don’t think there’s a way to undo that one, America.”

Say you want to give one of her fancy gowns to her as a present, to be owned by her instead of just used by her, and then sell it.

Even if you don’t have liquid cash to hand out on a whim, you have a lot of stuff.

It’s really kind of bizarre how much this book disassociates money with stuff.

They make out in the rain and America admits to herself that she loves the douchecanoe.  There is much shmoopiness, but when they go inside again the king is there to be a sourpuss and make Maxon go back to work.