Apparently Maven and Mare got back to their seats in time, because next chapter opens with Mare morosely staring out the window on the drive home.

I wish the dawn would begin tonight instead of tomorrow morning.

Huh?

my eyes still on the barracks. Will they be ours tomorrow?

Wait…huh?

Are…are you trying to tell me that you guys came up with the idea of a coup, planned it all, and are implementing it…in less than 24 hours?

Excuse me for a moment, because I’m too flabbergasted to continue.

They get into the palace and hear screaming, so they go to the throne room and there’s a big crowd gathered. Turns out Walsh was caught spying on the guards, and Mare realizes it’s because she was making sure the way was clear for Maven and Mare to return from NYC. Yet another reason why they shouldn’t have gone there, and we still don’t have one single reason, even a bad reason, for why they went.

Cal also says that while catching her, they realized the tunnel system was much more expansive than previously thought. You know, you would think they’d be on top of all these tunnels, considering they are literally on top of all these tunnels. Have none of them collapsed before? Like I said, these things require maintenance.

Before the queen can mindread Walsh, she eats a suicide pill and dies.

Later, Mare “lets” Cal “find” her on a balcony, and they talk and have shipper moment. She’s doing it on purpose, to let him think they still have a spark of romance so he’ll be inclined to surrender for her later. (Again, this’d probably work better if you weren’t on a less than 24 hours timetable.)

Give him hope where none should be. It’s the cruelest thing I can do, but for the cause, for my friends, for my life, I will.

I really doubt it’s the cruelest, but we’ve reached the point in the novel where everything has to be the worst thing ever, apparently.

“I wish things were different,” he whispers, but I can still hear him.

The words take me back to my home and my father when he said the same thing so long ago. To think that Cal and my father, a broken Red man, can share the same thoughts makes me pause.

It really shouldn’t, since that’s pretty much a cosmetic similarity. I mean, one is saying “I wish we weren’t oppressed and forced to bleed and die in a war over… wait, has the book even said why they’re fighting?” and the other is saying “Jee, I wish I could date the pretty girl.”

The fact that they use the same words does not actually make the sentiment the same.

But far be it from this book to listen to logic when there’s a chance to woobify the ubermen.

Mare spends a restless night before their big battle that they planned out…the day before, then in the wee hours of the morning goes to see Maven.

I jump at every shadow, expecting an officer or a Sentinel to step out into the hall, but no one does. They protect Cal and the king, not me, not the second prince. We don’t matter. But we will.

Um…pretty sure the whole royal family still gets protection. That is just…why would you even try to go there? Is this an attempt to make Mare and Maven look more like underdogs or something? Oh, woe is us, we are unnoticed? You’re a fucking prince and princess; stop trying to make that into a bad thing and fucking own it. There’s plenty of other drama going on, and you don’t have to morose on every aspect of your life to still have sympathy. You are underdogs in this particular case already just by sheer force of numbers. There’s no need for this shit as well.

They go outside to meet Farley, and she says she has all her people armed and waiting in the sewers below but

I’m not calling them out until you’re sure the Square is ours. I don’t put much faith in Lady Barrow’s ability to charm.”

… I am so confused on what the plan is. You guys are attacking, but not until after the attack? Well then how are you taking the Square? What will you attack when you do come out, if everything is already done?

Didn’t you say last chapter that you didn’t have enough people for this? And who are all these people you do have? The random runaway citizens we saw in NYC? Do any of you actually have training? Of any sort?

At Farley’s signal, part of the bridge explodes, cutting the palace complex off from the rest of the world because, you know, these guys were stupid enough to build their palace that way.

Cal comes running out to organize the guards and such because they expect further attack from outside, and that’s when Mare comes out of hiding and flags him down and…gives a speech about how Cal should join them?

WTF, I thought the plan was to fake threatening her in order to make him surrender? Like, the whole idea was he’s in love with her enough to save her life, not that he’s in love with her enough to just voluntarily turn traitor? Let’s face it, the first is a lot easier to do because you can still tell yourself that you’re loyal to your ideals, it’s just an unusual circumstance. The second is a complete paradigm shift.

This is, in every conceivable way, a horrible plan. And then they somehow managed to make it worse.

(Also even if they had gone with the original plan, I really doubt the claim that Cal can just tell all the soldiers “let the rebels take over.” In real life, if your commander is compromised, you don’t follow him, you tap the second in command and carry on. The idea of being loyal to just one person like that works fine in a feudal setup, but not in something with such an organized central government.)

Cal, unsurprisingly, just gets angry that his lady crush turned out to be one of the rebels all along and grabs her instead, then sends all of his soldiers into the drains to catch the rest of them.

Seriously, this was like the worst plan possible in the history of plans and this is why you don’t conceive of, plan, and stage a coup in, like, 15 hours. (Shit, even with that time frame, surely they could come up with something better than this? I’m just utterly floored by all of it.)

(Like, I can’t even focus on the rest of the chapter because how do you even did your brain forget how to brain I can’t fucking process what the hell is going on because it’s so ridiculous.)

Fortunately there’s not much chapter left to get through. Maven and Mare both get arrested by that instructor guy who can take their powers away, and the rebels get gunned down in the tunnels.

And that, dear readers, is why YOU DON’T PLAN AND START A COUP IN HALF A FUCKING DAY. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻