Noah and Mara get in his car to take the dog to the vet.  Noah pulls out a cigarette, and Mara gets all aflutter over the fact that he smokes.  I’d be more focused on the fact that he said “I’ll take you to the vet” and then…just…sat there in the driver’s seat to pull out a smoke?  It’s just a really awkward sequence of events.

They banter a bit in a completely out of place manner.

“I find it hilarious that whenever I light up, Americans look at me like I’m going to urinate on their children. And thanks for your concern, but I’ve never been ill a day in my life.”

Um, hey asshole, you’re in a small confined space with another person and secondhand smoke kills.  I know Mara’s only objections to your smoking are gutted platitudes, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t real reasons to say “excuse you, there are other people around.”

Personally, I got nothing against smokers.  Half my family smokes (or did while I was growing up) and you can’t sneeze in the army without hitting three smokers in the process.  And you know what?  Most of them were right decent about it.  They go outside to smoke, and if you go out to socialize with them, they make sure to stand downwind of the nonsmokers.  If they’re in a group already, they ask “do you mind if a smoke?” before lighting up.  Only a few people weren’t conscientious of the needs of people around them, and they were assholes exactly because they didn’t care about the people around them.  You know, like Noah, who wants to light up in a place where Mara literally cannot get away from it, without asking, and then acts like any objections are just born out of pearl-clutching.  (And while it might be more disturbing, urinating on someone would probably be less risk to their health.  Just saying.)

(Also it’s quite possible to be allergic to tobacco smoke, and people with other allergies can be extra sensitive to the smoke.  Same goes for having respiratory problems in general.)

(Also, not getting sick when you’re only 16 ish doesn’t really prove anything.)

“It is nice, yes. Now, do you mind if I drive this starving dog in the back of my car to the veterinarian?”

Um, you were the one who decided to take a random smoke break before heading out…

They get to the vet’s office and Noah carries the dog, taking his sweet time and rambling about names (he names the dog Mabel) while Mara is anxious about what lies to tell, how to pay the vet, and the fact that Noah is taking his sweet damn time.

“Can we go in now?” I asked.

 “You’re a piece of work,” he declared. “Now be a gentleman and open the door for me. My hands are full.”

I complied, sulking the whole time.

I hate everything about this asshole.  I hate every single word that comes out of his mouth.  I hate his inconsiderate nature.  I hate the way he makes Mara feel guilty for things like “being fucking worried” as if that’s some sort of sin.  I hate the way the narration plays along and paints Mara in a bad light for being annoyed.  I hate the way her feelings are diminished when there is absolutely nothing bad about being worried over a vet bill.  I hate his condescension and his mocking tone.  I think I might hate him more than Jamie.

Nah, that’s a lie, I hate both of them the same.

Turns out the vet is Noah’s mother, and she takes the dog in for treatment without any questions and is going to cover the cost of everything pro bono.  Which, while a very good thing, is so bland that I’m not really sure what to make of it.  There’s no discussion about it, not even a pleading look from her son, so it comes off as very “well but of course what else did you expect,” but fixing up a dog who is “near death” is not a cheap matter even if you wave the cost of the vet’s time.  Does she do this for every stray dog that people bring in?  Does she do this for animals that Noah brings in?  She doesn’t seem surprised at anything; does Noah do this often or is she just…really, really unflappable and uncurious?

Vets can be nice, good people and still not able to afford to spend massive amounts of supplies on stray dogs.  This situation isn’t really a given.  I would like more information, book.

Noah and Mara leave to drive back to school.  Noah makes sexual innuendos and laughs at Mara’s discomfort, then starts smoking in the car despite the fact that Mara has already once objected to it.

Did I mention how much I hate this guy?

Apparently he has a nice laugh and a pretty mouth and we’re supposed to think that counts for jack diddly shit.

There is more banter about stupid shit that makes me want to punch Noah.

“You’re not like other girls.”

See?

Mara does at least think this is not a smooth line, but we get no other comment on this or on the big steaming dump he took on all the other girls at their school.

Then he throws his cigarette butt out the window and claims that driving a Prius cancels out the littering. 

Am I even supposed to take this guy seriously?  It kind of feels like the dead dog owner; too many things are being piled on to his asscrown in attempt to paint him a certain way, but it’s going so overboard that all I can do is roll my eyes.  And in Noah’s case it’s even more egregious, because he’s supposed to be able to recover from all of this and be a romantic option at some point. 

He smelled like sandalwood and ocean, but only faintly of smoke.

So…magic?

After this whole car ride of Noah being an ass and Mara thinking he’s an ass but also he’s sort of pretty, he gets all up in her personal space like he’s going to kiss her.  Even though any nice thought she had was 100% in her head so from Noah’s perspective it should look like she despises him, he goes in anyway.  Because he’s an ass and I hate him.

Fortunately, Mara’s mom calls to cockblock and Mara moves to her own car while explaining to her mother over the phone why she’s late.

Somehow Mara is weaving in and out of stop-and-go traffic on the way home and reaching speeds of 90mph.  I call bullshit.  I’ve driven in both Dallas and LA rush hour traffic and at my most reckless could never beat 40.  There’s simply no room for it.

Mara hides in her room when she gets home and manages to convince herself that some part of the day was a hallucination.  …and she decides to go with “the dog’s owner was dead all along and I imagined conversing with him and/or had a conversation with his corpse.”

In a more subtle book, Dead Dude would have been covered with a sheet, and Mara could have seen just glimpse of him and later convinced herself that he wasn’t really just like her imagination and the crime scene is the hallucination part.  That is a small enough bit of confusion to 1) be something she could explain away as normal and not worth seeking help over and 2) preserve some mystery for the reader instead of making it exceedingly obvious that weirdness is afoot.

Instead we get:

I was full on delusional. Abnormal. Psychotic.

Mara has accepted the fact that there is something severely wrong with her, but we still do not have any hint of a clue of an inkling of a reason for why she WON’T JUST FUCKING SEEK HELP.  She’s obviously bothered by all of this, but she steadfastly refuses to do anything about it.  I can imagine someone not wanting to seek help, but since there are many different reasons for the same, fucking pick one and include it in the story.

And then she’d follow through on her threat of therapy and medication. Neither option sounded particularly appealing

Because this?  Really fucking weak compared to how scared she is of what’s happening to her.