You know what I’m not even done from yesterday. Why does Mara’s mom even think she needs to be on an anti-psychotic medication anyway?  From the mom’s POV, Mara has had exactly one hallucination – earrings fell in the tub – and that barely even counts, it’s more like just being super confused and disoriented.  Literally every other sign she’s presented to her family has been indicating depression and/or high levels of stress.  She’s high functioning and moderately social.  The only way this even begins to make sense is if Mom knows about the more vivid hallucinations Mara has been having, and even then it’s pretty shitty doctor work, but as-is there is no reason for Mom to even start to think in the direction of psychosis so, no, really, what the everlovin fuck?

I’m just really pissed off about this, okay?

I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO REACT TO NOAH IN CLASS the next day. The costume party seemed like a lifetime ago, but my humiliation was fresh.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

You had an emergency room visit, a psychiatrist visit, and your mom playing Russian Roulette with your health, and that’s the concern you open this chapter with?

Also, more timeline muckage, just how fast did she go to that doctor?  The party was on a Wednesday, no school on Thursday, did she go to her psychiatrist the day after she burned her hands and this is Friday?  Or has a lot of time passed and she’s just decided that, now that doctor visits aren’t looming, she has time to worry about Noah?  It’s all very unclear.

Mara tries to avoid Noah, figuring that she has too much on her plate right now for an infuriating asshole of a douchecanoe who also happens to be coincidentally be hot.  But Noah follows her around anyway, because since when has he picked up on social cues.

At least this time it’s because he wants to talk about the dog.  Poor Mabel has had some complications, and also Noah’s mom got attached to the dog and wants to keep her even after recovery.  Mara is fine with that.  She did, after all, just want to get the dog away from her abuser.

Then Noah continues to pester her and pressure her after she continually deflects his attempts at conversation and refuses a lunch date.

“Why do you care?” I asked with an edge. We could have been discussing molecular physics for all the interest he seemed to be paying to the conversation.

 “I’m starting to wonder that myself,” Noah said, and walked away. He didn’t look back.

FUCK.  YOU.  And fuck your emotional blackmail bullshit passive-aggressive lines while you’re at it.

Lunchtime comes, and Mara finds a note in her locker from the person who stole her sketchbook, telling her to meet by the vending machines.  Turns out said thief is Anna.  Aiden is there, and so are quite a number of other students, including Noah.

Mara spends an entire fucking paragraph explaining to use how Anna is some sort of criminal mastermind genius orchestrating some complicated plot of evil.

Child, she stole your sketchbook and then probably just said “hey, check this out” to whoever was closest.  Calm your shorts.  If this is what you call machinations then you really need to get out more.  Hell, Claire was more manipulative than this.

Granted, it’s not cool to publically humiliate someone by showing them all your private artwork and mocking the fact that you have a crush, but really, that act is bad enough by itself.  You don’t need to dress it up.  If you already have a killer clown, you don’t need to put him in a t-rex costume on top of that; it becomes plain silly instead of twice as scary.

“You crotch-pheasant,” I said through gritted teeth.

And shit like this isn’t exactly endearing me to you.

After several pages of this mess, when Anna turns to Noah and points out that it’s a picture of him, he just says that Mara is talented and implies that she was sketching him at his request. 

You know, considering the whole fucking school is in love with the boy, I’m not even sure how this was supposed to be embarrassing.  I mean, artwork is private and shouldn’t be shared without the consent of the artist, but outside of that?  “Oooo, you like the…really hot boy that everyone likes and draw very good and accurate pictures of him doing innocuous things which really could just be idle portrait practice for all we know.  …  OoooOOOOoOOOOoOOOOOOOOOOooooo BURN.”

I don’t understand why everyone is supposed to laugh about this?  Anna is a really bad antagonist.

After defusing the situation that I don’t really know why it was built up so much anyway, Noah walks off with Mara like they’re a couple.

And just like that, I was completely, utterly, and entirely,

His.

Uhg.

You know, this really isn’t any different from his behavior at any other point, it’s just that now there’s an audience.  Noah being an ass and then continuing to be an ass until the circumstances line up to make his assness convenient doesn’t really sell it for me.

After they walk off, and despite her weird “omg I’m so totally his” thought, argue about the fact that Mara doesn’t like him.  Noah wants to know why.  Because Noah has the self-awareness of a doorknob.  There’s really no other reason for someone to be as deliberately dickish as this guy and then still be honestly confused over why people hate him.

Since the whole school thinks they’re dating now, Mara suggests that he claim to have dumped her on Monday.  It would fit his MO and everyone would move on.  Instead, Noah wants a date on Sunday, then tries to blackmail her into going with a “you owe me from saving from abject humiliation.”

How?  The entire basis of the “humiliation” was “ooo she likes Noah and draws pictures of him” and now … she likes Noah and draws pictures of him?

Also, fuck you Noah, not only are you quite literally trying to force the girl into dating you but it’s that god forsaken “I did a thing without your consent or asking for it and even though I did this of my own volition and without any agreement beforehand I’m going to act like there’s a payment system in place for my ‘nice’ actions.”  Bullshit.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re evil.”

In response, Noah smiled, and raised his finger to gently tap the tip of my nose.

 “And you’re mine,” he said, then walked away.

You are so fucking creepy.

I continue to have no idea how this guy has fans.  He is despicable.  Every single indication that Mara has given him even up to this point has been “I do not want to associate with you” and he’s just forcing the matter anyway.  Fuck, we’re in Mara’s head and even still she honestly doesn’t like this guy.  It’s not an act.  She gets hormones from his hotness, fine, but she honestly and literally does not want to be around him.  There is no “oh, I must feign disinterest or the gods will curse our love” type bull, no,

MARA, INSIDE AND OUTSIDE HER OWN HEAD, DOES NOT WANT TO DATE NOAH.

And Noah forces her on a date anyway.

I do not understand why this gets a pass.  I get it in other books when the girl swoons and says no but means yes.  I hate it, but I understand it.  I cannot wrap my head around this, though.

And the way he reacts to her pushing him away with smiles and possessiveness is just ungodly creepy.

Mara goes home after school, there’s more random short scenes with family members (those are always so strange, it’s like the book has no idea how to transition and just shoves choppy domestic scenes in there) and then Noah calls her.

On a landline.

Do these affluent kids in a modern setting not have cell phones?  We know Daniel has one, but…?

“How did you get my phone number?” I blurted, before I could stop myself.

 “It’s called research.” I could hear him smirking over the phone.

 “Or stalking.”

Noah chuckled. “You’re adorable when you’re bitchy.”

I can’t believe I’m saying this.

I really can’t believe I’m saying this.

But at least when 50 Shades did this, Ana was flattered.

I know.  I know.  It’s still disgusting and it’s wrong on different levels than this, but at least that book understands that, you know, the romantic leads are supposed to like each other.  I am utterly floor and disheartened by the fact that this is being billed as a romance.  It’s one thing  to tell women that their adoration makes abuse okay, but it’s a whole new issue to tell them that their objections literally have no bearing on the relationship.  That whether they feel safe, flattered, cherished, or even appreciated does not matter.

Anyway, Noah is calling to set to their date on Sunday, even though Mara is still objecting to the idea and trying to get out of it.

“I hate you more than you can know.”

 “Give it up, Mara. You know I’ll find it anyway.”

I sighed, defeated, and gave it to him.

It’s like the author wanted to write banter but thought that to argue with someone you have to legitimately hate them and then this horrifying mess got born.

Since Mara thinks her mom won’t let her go out on Sunday, she enlists Daniel’s help to assist her in sneaking out.  (All those excuses and “I’ve got second degree burns and an overprotective mother” didn’t make the list?)  (No, really, she doesn’t want to go for some reason “my parents won’t let me” or *just not going* are both invalid options and now she’s got to put in actual work to make this thing happen?)

Daniel needles her about liking Noah, and then it’s time for dinner, where her dad says he’s got a good feeling about this case.  The only eyewitness against his client is ancient and he has an alibi and also he’s popular in the community.

He’s one of the most well-respected land developers in south Florida, he’s given hundreds of thousands of dollars to conservancy groups—”

 “Isn’t that, like, oxymoronic?” Joseph chimed in.

Daniel grinned at our little brother, and then piped up. “I think Joseph’s right. Maybe that’s all just a pretense. I mean, he’s a developer and he’s donating to the groups who hate him? It’s obviously just for show—probably bought him good will at his bail hearing.”

…or it’s good business PR in general?

Or the fact that he builds stuff on some land doesn’t mean he wants all land to be razed to the ground?

Or he’s got some pricey building ventures that butt up against conservatory lands and the value of his holdings stays high if his condos have pretty views out the window?

Or he wants to preserve the scarcity of land to keep his own holdings more valuable?

Or the land those groups support isn’t threatened by developers but instead by pollution?  (Not all conservatory areas are suitable for building if they were available, but they are threatened by other things.)

There’s so many options here, book, and it makes the scene come off…well, like it really is: overeager teenagers who think they know hot shit spouting off theories that lack nuance.  And if it stays like that, fine, but if this is supposed to be making me go “oooo, suspicious about that defendant guy!” then it totally fails.  Especially in conjunction with how clunky this whole plot has been in general.

Then Mara imagines that her food is maggots for a moment, but it’s enough freak her out and make her run to the bathroom to throw up.  Ghost-Jude is there to taunt her as she does it.

I don’t really understand Mara’s hallucinations, either.  They don’t seem to serve a purpose.  This book being what it is (shelved as a paranormal thing, that is) I know that this isn’t actually her brain throwing out crosswired signals as a response to stress or illness.  But then again, that’s the only way any of it actually makes sense, because it’s not adding up to anything else.  These hallucinations pop up at random and then leave at random.  They don’t change her behavior, highlight any issue, or add up to anything that happens.  I think this is only the second time they’ve popped up at the same time as murder case talk, but they’ve also done it…when she walks into a classroom, or gets ready to go to a party, or comes home from a party.  It’s not that there needs to be something clearly spelled out for the reader here, but there does need to be at least the hint that something might be connecting all this.  Otherwise, I have no reason to be curious.  There’s nothing to be curious about.  “Hallucinations appear at random and have no effect.  Later, more hallucinations will appear, but there’s no point trying to figure out when or why, it’s random.”  There is no tension, no promise, nothing to wonder about or wait for in that statement.  And that’s what makes it boring.