Next morning, Kelsea wakes up with a hangover, but thinks it’s more of a curiosity/life experience than anything to moan about. Cool detail from a sheltered character. Then Fetch comes in to creep up the joint.

Anyway, clemency wouldn’t begin to repay your debt. I’ve given you a greater gift than you know.”

“What gift?”

“You’ll find out. In return, I expect you to keep it safe.”

Kelsea turned back to the mirror. “Great God, tell me you didn’t impregnate me while I slept.”

The Fetch threw back his head and roared with laughter. He placed a friendly hand on Kelsea’s back, making her skin prickle. “Tear Queen, you’ll either be dead within a week or you’ll be the most fearsome ruler this kingdom has ever known. I see no middle ground.”

First of all, this continuing ‘joke’ of “Kelsea thinks she’s been assaulted and others find that funny” is just ungodly creepy and I need it to stop but I know it won’t. It’s completely dismissive of her fears and concerns and has shades of gaslighting to it. They’re not addressing her question, they’re trying to make her question her own reactions and perceptions, which is never not creepy. Also, it has this underpinning of “Kelsea is too ugly to be raped, and therefore her thinking anyone would want to rape her is hilarious,” and that shit just doesn’t fly here.

Second of all, he never said no. I’m just pointing out, he 100% did not say he did not assault and possibly impregnate her.

Third of all, how the fuck do you even get that last statement out of this conversation? What about her fearful concern for her own bodily autonomy makes her ‘extreme’ in either way or the other? How is that anything except a completely normal reaction?

“Don’t evade the question. I’ll find out when I get to the Keep anyway.”

“Then there’s no reason I should waste my valuable energy telling you now.”

This is basically the whole book so far.

Their whole scene together is pointless. Fetch is an unabashed criminal, Kelsea thinks he’s cute and then angsts about thinking the criminal is cute, and there’s some vaguely threatening talk about how Fetch is going to “collect on her debt” to him later, because apparently kidnapping someone makes them indebted to you now. (Don’t tell me he saved her from the assassins, because Mace mowed through all those guys before Fetch’s group showed up.)

The criminals let Kelsea and Mace go, but insist Mace remain blindfolded until he’s well away from the camp, which he suffers most unwillingly. Fetch leads them to a place where they can see the major road and their destination far in the distance.

Kelsea stared out across the land. The hills hid much of the road, but eventually the beige line reemerged in the country beyond, neatly bisecting the farming plains and marching toward another set of hills, these brown. Hundreds of buildings clustered across them, all of them overshadowed by a gigantic grey monolith. The Keep.

Yes, that’s right. Kelsea has x-ray vision now. She can see through one set of hills all the way to the next set of hills! Somehow. I guess.

I mean, seeing a distant tower 10 miles away, that’s an understandable mix-up to make, sure. But how do you even begin to imagine this sort of view? This is apparently more than a day’s ride away, but she can see individual buildings, and also over/through one geographical barrier? How?

Before he leaves, Fetch says the necklace he stole is still technically hers, but he’s going to keep it until she ‘earns’ it back, because he is just an unrivaled jackass like that.

This is the serious downfall of all this secret-keeping, because I get the feeling that Fetch is supposed to be a complex character and not just ‘haha, I steal because I can,’ yet without any real information to go on, it’s impossible to get any complexity! All we’ve got is his super-smarmy behavior and stupid smug face that I want to punch for being so smarmy and smug. There’s nothing to temper his abrasive side, because NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

the small path the Fetch had showed them fed into the Mort Road, a broad avenue some fifty feet wide.

That…seems really excessive. You do realize roads have to be maintained, right? More road = more maintenance?

I think we figured out why this country is perpetually broke. Someone mismanaged all their public works!

For reference, Rome’s famous roads were 8-16 feet wide.

The path was crowded

…how many people are in this country?

They blend in to this unaccountably mobile crowd (seriously, they are two days from a major city, pre-industrial societies are not noted for having populations that regularly travel.) and go for the rest of the day, then plan to make camp overnight.

“I don’t really sleep, Lady. Therefore, you may.”

“You have to sleep sometime.”

“Not really. The world’s too dangerous to fall asleep in.”

Dafuq even is this? I mean, this is some fairy-tale, video game shit right here that has no business in anything even attempting to be taken seriously. Sleep is important, and people stop functioning when they don’t get sleep. Why is this apparently such a hard concept?

“This is the only direct road to New London south of the Crithe. Many footpaths feed it.”

“But this is a trading road. How does anyone get a caravan through?”

“It’s not always so crowded, Lady.”

They rode past sunset and well into the night

…oh, so you’re not going to explain why it’s so unusually crowded? And Kelsea isn’t going to ask?

The fact that this road is 50 frikkin feet wide is what’s messing up this whole point. If it had just been a reasonably sized road, this would be…well, not fine, because we’re still out in the boonies, but at least it would be less of a head-scratcher.

What they do talk about is the state of the country, and we’re told about their conversation in summary so we don’t have to suffer through several pages of “I’m not telling you because reasons.” Apparently the whole place is a shit-factory because corruption.

They hear someone on the road behind them (which, even if most people have stopped to make camp, shouldn’t some people still be traveling at night like these two are?) and decide it’s suspicious so they’re going to keep riding to stay ahead and then rest in the morning. You know, that time period where all their travel buddies are going to wake up and even non-regicide-hopefuls might decide a little robbery is in order? Yeah, great plan.

Mace gives a bit of history about Fetch, saying he’s highly-sought-after, has stolen massive amounts of shit, started 20 years ago, and does not Robin Hood it up by sharing his ill-gotten gains, but he’s still a hero of the people because he makes the rich assholes have a bad day. (So, he’s more Dread Pirate Roberts than Robin Hood, I guess, since Kelsea even points out that he doesn’t look old enough to have been marauding for 20 years.)

Mace hammers in the DPR idea even more by being astounded that Kelsea got to see his face, since absolutely no one outside of his inner circle knows what he looks like.

Then Kelsea learns that her uncle keeps sex slaves.

With some reluctance, Mace explained that the Regent had set himself up in the manner of the Cadarese rulers, with a harem culled from young women sold to the palace by poor families.

Considering what shitfest the rest of the country is, why does it have to be slavery? Why not just have women desperately volunteering because they need safety and employment, and Mr. Regent just picks the prettiest ones? I mean, it’s still exploitive as fuck, but throwing in this slavery bit serves absolutely no purpose besides giving Kelsea a chance to catch the vapors over it.

Kelsea mentions ‘getting rid of’ her uncle as soon as she’s in power, and Mace explains why getting rid of powerful people in a government isn’t actually easy. Especially why they are friends with the witchqueen next door.

“But you’ll wear armor tomorrow, Lady, since we’ll enter the city in high daylight. Armor’s not much without a sword, but it’s better than nothing.”

…??? But, armor and swords serve two different purposes…

Mace has no cares for my confusion, and they settle down to have a nice sleep and some nightmares. I just really don’t care about Kelsea’s nightmares.