Y’ALL THEY HAVE FINALLY MADE IT TO NARNIA! WE ARE 72% OF THE WAY THROUGH THIS BOOK AND THE ACTUAL PLOT CAN FINALLY START. Maybe, assuming this is the plot, which considering this book who knows. For reasons too ridiculous to dwell on, they leave their winter coats behind and then wind up in Narnia/Fillory…

Alice and Q arrive in the Neitherlands by swimming up through a pool in the middle of a Vaguely Old city square. Alice immediately starts to beat the shit out of Q because, apparently, he slept with Janet during that ‘wild party’ last night? This book is so vague and also Q is the absolute…

Q and Eliot fart around NYC going to parties and wondering how all the muggles can stand to live such an uncharmed life and OH MY GOD DO SOMETHING. Also they’re alcoholics now, even more so than before, because…ya know… Edgy, I guess. There’s a new character named Richard, he was Eliot and Janet and…

Q and Alice have to do senior thesis. Alice tries to capture a single photon using magic, and has to invent a bunch of complicated shit in the attempt. Q wants to fly to the moon. Which has already been done and is way more boring than upending quantum physics. And then he doesn’t even…

Fifth year starts, and it’s just Alice and Q in their club house. Q finally notices that he has no solid connections to any of the other students. Alice says the others think they’re snobs. He sighed. “They probably do. Uncharitable bastards. They’re the snobs.” Q, I swear to g- How are you this clueless?…