Ana opens up the chapter by pointing out that she’s drinking champagne.  At this point in the book, ever mention of alcohol makes me side-eye pretty hard, if just because it’s so damn pervasive.  She banters with Grey over email again, and calls him a stalker again, but once again no one seems to realize…

The chapter opens with Ana waking up.  Just for you guys, I went back and counted.  This is the seventh chapter so far that begins with Ana waking up.  A full third of the chapters in this book use the most boring, most clichéd opener employed by hack writers all over the world.  A third.…

I have a lovely friend who travels all the time.  He recently discovered my tea love, so when he was in London he bought some for me.  I was all excited, because I love getting tea from all over the place.  He pulled out the box, looking so proud of himself…and it was Twinning’s English…

Grey wakes up Ana a few hours later.  She has half an hour before they have to leave for dinner with his parents.  (This was mentioned before, in case I forgot it.)  Why would you give someone only half an hour to get ready for that?  Well, Ana drags herself out of bed and does…

Dr. Greene is a blonde MILF, because for some reason this book has a thing for them.  Seriously, everyone except Ana who’s supposed to be pretty is a thin, blond, white woman.  It’s freaky. We skip through the entire medical exam…which apparently happened in Ana’s bedroom.  Um, okay, it’s been longer than I like to…